Evolution of life

one is two two is four....and on

Drowning in its all mighty waters,
There were two.
One was me and one was you.
One was them, and one was they.
The sun bloomed in a marigold of light
And reflections of green reflected in the eyes of a beholder
And reflections of green reflected on the waters surface.

 

Then two was four and four was six.
And air moved through throats and there was sound.
Ears turned as bodies circled around.
Here is sound, heard by those with faces profound,
Surrounding the source as they found that they could also make the sound.
Soon speaking the words of love and hate.
Living the line of luck and fate,
Taking turns and chances.
Thriving, dying, creation, and history books.
Dominating now,
Here I, we plow.
Carving a path not rightfully ours.

 

Killing.
I disavow.

 

And I see myself reflected in oil now.
And you see me reflected in your rear view mirror.
All of a sudden,
The future becomes clearer.
Fatality of Earth inches nearer.
Reality is twisted.
Liars have the biggest voice of all.
Can you hear them call?
No.
You're watching baseball.
And.
The mourns of trees are muted by your mansion walls.

 

Soon chaos will swallow us whole.
And we will melt away.
Or disappear into a black hole.
Floating into oblivion
Our souls will be paralyzed.
And our minds will condense into useless packets of mustard.
And our auditory sense will die.

 

Unless,
Immense change is made now.
And war stops against our home that holds our feet.
And we listen to that off beat sound…
Of a tree falling.
Because that's one less breath in our lungs.

 

Live together as two in water.
Under marigold light.
Live in harmony,
As day turns to night,
Live with peace,
As stars fill the sky.
Let fate come naturally,
I am reflected in your eye.

Author's Note

the first part is about how all life came from water, and different parts of religion and such.
The second part is about how we use our voice as power and whats become of that power
The third is about global warming, I tried to contrast it with the beginnning
And the last part is about hope, and how if humans have a will to make a right out of a wrong we can all live in peace. And how maybe this peom might encouage you.

Reviews

[J]

This.Is.Stunning! Well thought out, polished piece of art. I echo your position right down the line ... very creative use of space, abstract and rhyme. You are very talented. Your voice is clear and strong. Thank you so much for choosing me as a friend.

j

[Coyote Poetry]

A excellent poem. The poem was a pleasure to read. Took me in many directions. I like it all. The ending was my favorite part.
Coyote

[Rain]

I have been asking this question for sometime. " Why is there such a deep connection with water and our emotions ? " Whether it be the ocean, rain, a river, a stream..we write songs of love, and saddness, and we always use water to make our feelings clear. Maybe, it's like you said. " We all come from water." I love your passion and conviction, and that is how I rate what I read. Someday perhaps I'll give you my take on your beliefs, but for now. Good write. Rain..

[Andrea A. Wentz]

"Liars have the biggest voice of all"
How true that is.

There is truth and honesty to this poem, free of anger that many feel over these issues. A wonderfully insightful work. Thank you for posting it. :)

[kree8ivity]

Hello Leah,
I couldn't really figure out what any of this poem meant, it was mostly inaccessible to me. It helps that you included an author's note about the poem because alone, this poem is somewhat difficult to comprehend. Personally, I don't have very much religious knowledge and I definitely don't understand the numerological significance within this poem; so I was unable to figure out what most of this poem might mean. However, the editor in me had some observations which may be useful.

"Drowning in its all mighty waters," ~ all mighty = almighty
"The sun bloomed in a marigold of light" ~ bloomd -as- a marigold of light
"And reflections of green reflected in the eyes of a beholder
And reflections of green reflected on the waters surface." ~ the word reflected in both lines is redundant, were it omitted, the lines would work the same. 'waters' could use an apostrophe indicating possession.
"Here is sound, heard by those with faces profound,
Surrounding the source *as they found *that they could also make *the sound.
Soon speaking *the words of love and hate." ~ were 'by those' omitted the line may function better. *extraneous words which could be deleted without sacrificing comprehensibility. 'the' before 'sound' does kind of make sound more special and profound though, so it could be kept to add something.
"Thriving, dying, creation, and history books.
Dominating now,
Here I, we plow." ~ seems like 'creation' is out of place next when succeeding two present tense verbs. creating? existing? history books is a nice good, unexpected turn of the flow which flows well with what's there. after 'we' a comma could help the flow.
"Reality is twisted." ~ as it is, the sentence is presently past tense. -reality twists.- would be completely present tense. tenses are important...
"Soon chaos will swallow us whole.
And we will melt away.
Or disappear into a black hole." ~ looking at this i felt confined by your prediction. maybe -soon chaos may swallow us whole- and that last line might be more thematic as -digesting within bane, a black hole- something like that. same syllables, i made sure. you know, the whole swallowing, melting, digesting... yeah I don't know whatever. just speculating.
"I am reflected in your eye." ~ a nifty pun that I think will only make your meaning more rich would be to replace 'eye' with 'I'.

This is a sweetly emotive poem, Leah. I was able to note raw talent; but you need to cook that talent a little, it's hard to digest =P

[poddar kushal]

The sun bloomed in a marigold of light
And reflections of green reflected in the eyes of a beholder
And reflections of green reflected on the waters surface.
-- i qote the poetic description that makes a poets sky bluer and foliage greener from others.the message is clear yet not clear enough to cover the poem. good and knowledgable potry.

[Angel]

i must say you have a great ability to express! i am very impressed!! the rhythm kept steady and true, and you did a wonderful job expressing the origin of "life" :] CONGRATS on a wonderful piece!!!! :D

[A.r. Bazian]

amazing.... dedication!
great choice of words... amazing points and themes...
good structure "in my opinion"... the points you're making are enough!

salutes!

[[untitled]]

Very, very good. You bit off a topic with massive boundaries, and managed to shrink it down with words descriptive, inspiring, and lyrical.

[Ady]

This was lovely!