Confession

             The look of regret on Ren’s face was nearly more than I could bear.  He looked so sad and wounded that I wanted to wrap him up in my arms and tell him everything would be all right, but I knew I could not.  I knew he had to tell me on his own.
             “I was sent to you.”  He began.  “But not in the way you think.  I am not your long lost love sent to you by some great destiny that knew we were meant to be together.  Rather I was sent to you by Them, the ones who hunt us.
             “When I was taken away so many years ago, they did unspeakable things to me.  Much of it I cannot remember.  Mercifully, my mind shut the memories away or else I would not even be able to speak for the fear.
             “They have known about you for a long time.  They know that you are special and they wish to harness your gift for their purposes.  Think of it, to use you as a channel to snatch the energy and thoughts they wanted and to be able to feed emotions and motivations back, to take our people from the cringing, cowardly slaves they know they are to ones who live in happy oblivion, nothing more than the sheep we raise, unable to see or recognize our slavery.
             “They have tried to take you before.  Once when we lay in the field, alone at night, they gathered themselves together to bear you away before you discovered your power.  It was pure luck that I stood between you and that the fire in my heart made me challenge them instead of hiding until they passed.
             “I stood my ground before them, even though they urged me to let them pass, laughing, calling me a stupid boy, saying I was not worth their time.  In the light of day, they did not look so frightening, just like hunched old men in worn cloaks, faces shrouded in thick darkness interrupted by the flash of large silver teeth as they spoke.
             “They grew impatient and pushed me aside and headed to the meadow in which I knew you still slept.  Rage overtook me and I grasped the cloak of one as he passed and tore it from him.  I saw a suggestion of animal grace and hideous scaled skin, claws reaching for me and decaying maw opened in a soundless scream, right before it expanded and dissipated in the warm sunshine.
             “Another of them reached for me and tore his claws across my back, giving me the first of these scars, and I fell, overwhelmed by the pain.  As my consciousness fled, I heard them discussing you., how there was too much light to continue and they could only carry one.  I lay there, wishing they would simply leave me to die, but then they mentioned your name and rage flooded through me once again.  I reached through my agony and yanked the cloak off another.  I felt a crushing blow to the back of my head and woke up in their home.
             “That was the first of any attempts, but after that moment when we woke up together, you never allowed yourself to be alone and unprotected by the charm.  They knew of my relationship with you, but by then, I was changed by the pain and fear.  They did not think you would follow me away on the strength of our earlier feelings because of the darkness that had twisted my soul and made me forget laughter and love.
             “The day that Ezra forgot, they leapt into action.  Even though you were protected, Ezra was not and they could carry both of you away because of it.  But that day, you had an ally.  The Tayre, the Angel of Light, came to you and stood between you and their claws and Ezra was the only one they could bear away.
             “It was then that they devised this trap.  They knew you would follow me to find your brother, even though I was changed.  By that point, I was so damaged that I could not care that I was going to hurt you and I agreed to go along with their plan.  Yet the moment I met you, my heart began to remember.
             “The moment when I took your place, allowing myself to be torn by the claws of the Khresh was manufactured, both to gain your trust and to force you to recognize your power.  If I had died, they would have found another way to draw you to their lair.  I was nothing more than a tool to them.  After you healed me, they have made it clear that they expect me to bring you to them.  Before I saw you, I would have had no problem doing just that, but as I stood over you, protecting you from death with my body, I felt truly alive again and a fierce joy and love swept through me, greater than anything I had felt in years.  At that moment, I would have died for you.”
             “Then why have you not allowed yourself to hold me, to love me as I know you wish to?”  I spoke for the first time during his broken confession.
             “I knew I loved you,” Ren wept. “But when I woke again I was so afraid. I am a bloody coward and I didn’t feel I could ever deserve you.  You are strong and I am not.  I was ready to give you to them, hoping your strength would not fail you and you could rescue your brother.  I would take the freedom offered to me and go far away, somewhere that I could forget that I had broken your heart.”
             “Why tell me now?” I asked.
             “Because I love you!” he whispered fiercely. “And I don’t want to be ruled by fear any longer.”
             I took Ren’s hand in mine and squeezed it tight.  “I love you too,” I said simply.  I wondered what horrors he had endured to break him so completely as I reached to brush the hair from his forehead.  As I did so, my inner gaze opened up again and I realized there were some things I could not heal, could not take away.  I saw Ren, a young man once again, full of fire and the tenderness of young love, and I saw the horrible things they did to him.  My heart broke as I watched his heart, brave as a lion and just as true, wither away and get locked inside, drowned by a flood of fear and pain.
             Buried deep in the layers of his mind, I saw something I was not intended to see.  A small area, no larger than a grain of sand, yet something I could not remove.  In one small part of his mind, locked where I could not touch, Ren still planned to betray me.  I opened my overflowing eyes and looked into his, also filled with tears and, our mouths made bitter by the salt of our mingled tears, I kissed him.
 

Reviews

[Katherine Hall]

A lot of exposition in this chapter, and some of it sounds rather formal and a bit false to the ear, particularly when juxtaposed with common language like 'bloody coward'. While this chapter is obviously important to give us an idea what Ren's place in the story is, I feel the execution is a bit unbelievable. Perhaps more action, even in the form of flashback scenes, would be more appropriate here?
The chapters are gaining strength and fluidity. Good work.
~Katherine

[Aldora Sparrow]

Wow. Powerful chapter! I hadn't read the pervious chapters but it got me interested (like so many of your others) so I am taking my time and thoroughly enjoying you work. Good job!
Just a few suggestions. I think you should show some more of Elyssa's reactions instead of making Ren talk for a long time. It is interesting and all, but I think it would be better for a little pause before going on. Just a few grammatical mistakes, but otherwise, great work! Keep it up!

[Martina]

I loved IT! It was amazing and my heart was beating so hard the whole time! I thought it was sad though that Ren might still betray her but I don't care I just want to read MORE!