Chapter 5

(Two months later)
Micaela walked around in a daze of happiness. Grant would be home soon. She had special news for him. He walked in the door, and she ran to kiss him.
“Wonderful welcome dear. How come I don’t get one like this every day?” He joked, as he kissed her back.
“Grant, I’m pregnant. We will have a child in about six or seven months.” He looked at her incredulously, then his face broke into an unquenchable grin. He hugged her, and then he placed his hand upon her stomach.
“You won’t be able to feel him moving right now, but soon he will be keeping me up all night with his acrobatics.”
“Thank you El, for this gift of all gifts. This is the most wonderful thing you could have given us. Thank you, thank you!”
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(Five months later)
The Attack is coming soon. Watch and pray, for the day is coming. Do not despair, although it seems you have no hope. The child you carry will be born when the sun comes up. The sun will be born anew on the very day of his birth. As he grows in you, and the day draws closer, be reassured that I will always be with you, and help you. Your son will be named Zakarij. His name means El remembers you, and when you name him this, you will know I have not forsaken you, neither shall I forget you. I have given you a new name, and your husband as well. Your name will be Zoe, which means life, life will be reborn through you. Grant’s name will be Jeremy, which means Appointed by El. One thing I promise you is this, I am with you always, even to the end of the world.
Micaela started awake and sat up.
“Grant, I have had a dream. It was from El. Wake up. I need to talk to you right now.”
“Go on.” He looked at her expectantly.
“Our child is going to be a son. We will call him Zakarij. It has the most wonderful meaning. It means El remembers you. He gave us new names as well. Your name is now Jeremy, for he has appointed you for some special work. He called me Zoe, life, Life will be reborn through me..”
“Wow. I can’t believe this. Why did he change our names? What has he told us about the time to come?” Jeremy asked.
“Oh, he said something about that too. He told me a lot actually. The attack is coming soon, but do not despair. Don’t those words make you feel him here? Our son will be born in daylight, On the very day the sun comes up. It won’t be that long, I know. Then he said he is with us always. Even though the world should end, He will never desert us.” Zoe said softly. Then as she stared out into the dark of the night, she spoke again. “There was something about his voice. It was infinitely kind and compassionate, a voice you could get lost in. When you hear it, you know you can trust him to keep his promises. It was majestic, beautiful, and it had a quality to it that spoke of love. He sounded like a father, always there for his children.” Then she noticed a pained look on Jeremy’s face. “ What’s wrong?”
“I will never think of El as a father. My own deserted me. I think he hated me. ‘Father of love’ is a contradiction. He was never there when I needed him. There were many times during my childhood when I could have used a father’s advice, but he couldn’t give it. He could have used it himself. I hate him for what he did to me and my mother. Even though she was pregnant. It didn’t change a thing.” He rolled up his right pant leg to expose a gruesome scar. Zoe had always thought it was from that day in the dungeon.
“He killed my mother, and nearly killed me. He used to drink a lot, and when he did, he got violent. I wonder that my mother put up with him as long as she did. He was wonderful when he was sober, but those times were few and far between. My mom was cutting something up with a big knife. He came in, and for no reason, hit me on the head with a block of wood and knocked me out. When I woke up, he had killed my mother with the knife, and he was standing over me. I tried to take the knife away from him, but he was a strong man, even when drunk. He did this with that knife. He finally quit, and left me lying on the floor, bleeding, the knife protruding from my stomach. I somehow got out of the house, but I passed out by a river somewhere in the country. I don’t remember anything else after that. I woke up in a hospital and I have no idea how I got there. I had been lying there for a couple of weeks already. I was so scared, I mean, I was only six years old. My mother was dead, she was eight months pregnant. I was so excited, I couldn’t wait to have another brother or sister. But he ended that life before it had begun. Most of all, I missed my little brother. He would be fifteen now, and I still wonder if he survived my father. He was only three, and even if my Dad didn’t kill him right off, he would have been severely neglected. I can’t even remember his name. It’s been so long. He wasn’t there that night. One of my mother’s friends had a son his age and they would play with each other all the time. Funny, but I never had a friend while growing up. Not that there weren’t very many kids my age. There were plenty, but from the first they didn’t like me. I used to come home from school with bruises and black eyes almost every day. You were probably my first real friend.
I never saw my father again. I made the nurses ban him from the room. He took every shred of happiness away from me. Until I met you, I had nothing to live for. If El is a father, he is definitely not like mine.” His voice became softer. “I was alone, until I saw you in the marketplace, and I knew I had to speak to you. It was the best thing I ever could have done. I cannot imagine a life without you. I never told you this, but I was in such despair. I was going to kill myself that day. You saved me from the inevitable, and showed me a real love. Not only the one between you and me. You showed me El, and now I am his forever. Thank you. I should have said this much earlier, but I wasn’t ready. I love you, but we should get some sleep. You’re going to be bearing a message in the form of a dawn.”
“ Goodnight, Jeremy, I love you too.” Zoe sighed softly.
“Huh? Oh right, I forgot. Goodnight . . . um . . . um . . . ”
“Zoe?”
“Yeah, that was it. Goodnight Zoe. You want breakfast in bed tomorrow?”
“That would be nice. Thanks a lot.”
“That’s what husbands are for, right? Besides, you’re lazier than I am.” He teased.
Zoe leaned over and tickled him until he cried for mercy. Then she kissed him. “Goodnight.”
Jeremy turned over and tried to go to sleep, but sleep would not come. He tossed and turned for most of the night. Eventually, exhausted, he fell into a fitful sleep. A sleep full of dreams, but it offered no rest.
He saw himself, a child, small. Mother behind him, her stomach swollen with the child she carried. The knife she held clunked woodenly on the cutting board in front of her.
He heard drunken footsteps on the stair long before he saw the feet that made them. His father staggered through the door. He tripped on a piece of the wood Grant had stacked clumsily. He cursed and threw it, hitting Grant on the head. Jeremy watched himself fall unconscious, and for the first time, knew what happened as he had lain upon the floor.
Mother yelled at Father. He wrested the knife away from her and sliced her arm shallowly, she fainted from the pain. He stopped as he was about to do more damage. He heard a low moan behind him, he turned and saw his son. He walked slowly towards him. Jeremy remembered the dry taste of fear in his mouth as if it was he who was feeling it. He saw the hopelessness and desperation in his own eyes, as the knife came slowly closer. He saw the slash that changed his life forever. He cried out as if the pain was his alone to bear, and not the one who had born it long ago. He saw himself stagger out the door. Only to collapse two hundred feet from the doorway he was trying so hard to leave behind, too weak to go on. Then he saw his father come. He was crying.
“Grant, I’m sorry. Please forgive me! I never meant this to happen. You can’t die. Oh, El, you have been trying for so long to get my attention, but you have it now. Must you take my oldest son? I have been so wrong. Will you forgive me for all the pain I have caused?” He cried bitterly.
For the first time since it had happened, Jeremy felt the bitterness and anger thaw, and then finally melt away. In his heart was a compassion and love that took its place completely, and he forgave his father for all the things he had done.
“I forgive you Dad, I forgive you.” He said softly, letting all the pain and anger of the last years melt away like the snow. He remembered the pain he must have caused his father by pushing him away. “And I’m sorry.”
“Jeremy, wake up. Where’s my breakfast in bed? You promised!” Zoe said as she shook him awake.
“Sorry, Love, but that will have to wait for tomorrow. Right now we need to go to Qintar!” Jeremy said apologetically.
“Qintar, why are we going there? We don’t know anyone there, and it’s not like we need to do any shopping.”She said, puzzled.
“That would be where you are wrong. That is where my father lives. Zoe, I had this dream. I saw my father in it. I saw the rest of the story, what happened during the months I lay in bed. Don’t ask me why El chose to show me what he did, but he has, and I must see my father again.”
“Y-your father? Are you serious? That’s wonderful.” Zoe said. She buried her face in his neck and whispered “I’m so glad.”
Before long they were out the door and on their way to Qintar. Jeremy was beginning to worry. Could he really forgive his father, or would the hate rise in him again as he saw him? Would he also be forgiven? He felt forgiveness now, but would he later? Jeremy did not know the answers to his questions, but he drove on in faith.
He soon came to a small house that looked sort of familiar. He marvelled at the beautiful flower gardens by the house, and idly wondered who took care of them.
Nervously he cleared his throat and knocked on the door. It was opened almost instantly by an older woman that looked oddly familiar. She was dressed for gardening, and looked slightly annoyed at the interruption.
“Excuse me, is this the home of Nolan Dipteron?” He asked apprehensively. What if this was not the right house?!
“Why yes, it is, but I’m afraid you can’t see him unless it’s really important. He is very ill, I’m afraid. I’ll have to take a message for him.”
“Can you tell him it is Grant Nolan son, and I am here to ask for his forgiveness? If he doesn’t want to see me, I’ll understand. But I have to try.” Jeremy said softly. He looked at her pleadingly. To his amazement, her face was flooded with joy, and her eyes were filled with tears.
“ I never expected to see you again. You can fulfill his prayer before he dies.  I have missed you my son. Welcome home.”
“Mother? Is it really you?” He received a simple nod as his answer. He threw himself into her arms, and he wept. Zoe watched it, and her eyes were alight with joy as she watched Jeremy finally have the mother’s love he had coveted for so long.
“You’re not dead, I Thought you were for the longest time. Why didn’t I know I had a mother to come back to?” He cried.
Your father had no chance to tell you that I was well. I only had ten stitches. For these years I have not dared to believe you were alive. I am so thankful to have you back. But come, you must see your father. I warn you, he is not as he once was.” And silently led him to a darkened room and to the man that lay on his deathbed within.
Jeremy started as he saw the frailty of the man that lay there. He was but a wasted shell of the man he had once been. He walked forward slowly, and almost he turned away, because of the revulsion that welled up within him.
“El, help me to forgive him.” was his unspoken prayer, for he knew the hate and bitterness were not completely gone. “Please, I want to forgive him, and I want to say sorry.” He reached out and touched the pale hand that lay on the blankets, and a love swept through him. He knew it was El’s love. His face was wet with tears, and yet he was not aware of crying.
“I’m sorry, Dad. Can you ever forgive me for all the hatred I have harboured in my heart, for all these years? I don’t know if you can forgive me for pushing you away like I did. I was wrong, and all I want is your forgiveness. Can you forgive me for taking so long to see that I was to blame for this rift between us?” He whispered.
“My son? Can it really be my son? Long have I prayed for this day, but I am the one who must ask forgiveness of you. Whatever you have wronged me in, I will forgive you. But can you forgive a foolish old man for destroying your life?”
“Yes! It’s taken me so long, but I finally have seen the truth. I love you, Dad.” Jeremy said softly. He reached forward and embraced his father. Their shared tears mingled, and for the first time, they both knew real peace that comes from forgiveness. Together they thanked El for this reconciliation.
“Now I can die in peace, knowing that you have forgiven me. It won’t be long before I am gone.” Nolan said joyously.
“B-but. . .Y-you can’t leave me yet. I-I’ve only just found you again. You won’t even get to see your grandchild. Light is coming, at the same time my child is born. Could you hold on? For at least a month?”
“You are to have a child?”
“Yes. He is to be born on the very day the light comes back. His name will be Zakarij. It means ‘El remembers.’ He will save us. Please, you can holdout a little longer.”
“No, my time has come. I may not be that old, but the drink will end up killing me, it has aged me before my time. But when I die, always remember that I wait for you on the other side.” His eyes closed softly. Jeremy feared he was gone, but he saw those eyes open once again. “Call my wife. I want her here with me now.”
Jeremy hurried from the room. “Mother, he wants you. I fear. . .” His voice faltered but she understood perfectly, and walked in quietly. Jeremy pulled Zoe to his side, and brought her in so she could see the father-in-law she had not known she had.
When they entered, Nolan and Copper were talking. They could see the love the two had for each other. Jeremy was reluctant to break into this, their last goodbye, but Copper saw them and pulled them forward to pay their last respects.
“Father, this is Zoe, my wife. I thought you would want to see her before. . .before. . .” He could not bring himself to say the words. The tears flooded his eyes and he could not speak.
“My son. El bless you, your wife and your son. Trust him. He will always watch over you. There is nothing I can give you but my love. My love, and El’s love go with you know in the perils and storms that await you. Goodbye.” Nolan said softly to Jeremy, then looking at his wife.     “Goodbye, my only love. T’eau data instar arb gaba rohsaj midair passel.” Which in the speech of the place he had come from, meant ‘My heart will be with you until we meet again.’ And with those last words, he died.