How Does it Begin?

How does it begin?

With a fleeting glance,

A surreptitious smile?

Do you seek me out?

Do I wait for you to find me,

Or should I take my chances

On chasing once again?

I never wanted to be the hunter,

I am worth more than that,

But if I don't follow you

Will you turn and see me

Standing here,

Waiting for your touch

And longing for the love of a lifetime?

 

How does it end?

In a blaze of sparks

As misbegotten passions collide

And extinguish each other

After the blaze of their meeting?

Or does it slowly fade

Into the background,

My heart slowly dying,

As your picture dissolves?

 

Or will the blaze in my heart

Set your passions aflame?

Can we be those legendary lovers

That history acclaims?

Or shall we two,

Drifting apart,

Never know what might have been?

 

So, tell me, should I wait

For your mouth to cover mine?

For my senses to reel

As our bodies intertwine?

Or tell me truly, is it time

To be giving up on you?

Reviews

[Solst Rapture]

There's some wonderful imagery here, '...In a blaze of sparks...'

Otherwise, your language creates images without trying too hard, '...Or does it slowly fade/ Into the background,/My heart slowly dying,/As your picture dissolves?'

I enjoyed the questioning narrator, and the volt in the end, 'Or tell me truly, is it time/To be giving up on you?'

I'm asking myself if it is condensed enough? Are you familiar with the the Sonnet? Your poem wants to be one, it is the right subject matter and really could pull it off...I know many people are not for form but sometimes it makes a poem that is a little unruly look far sharper. Here, for example there's no consistency in stanza length. While blank verse is as reputable as any other form, those that write good blank verse do have an understanding for the mechanics of linguistics. Don't get me wrong, I'm only just learning, but I can see this poem working wonderfully as a Sonnet. That's just my humble Artistic opinion.

However, I did enjoy it as it is. I relate to it, though not for the love of a person but for the love of Nature/Beauty - how can I capture it in writing...or should I be giving up on you?

Lovely stuff, and I hope you've received me well.

Take care.

[Adela Muresan]

This is SO good.
I mean... everybody feels like this at least once in a life time but few can express it as clearly as you do.
The form of expression is rather simple for poetic verse, but it couldn't shape a more bautiful poem.

Wonderful write sister, wonderful write.

A.M.

[C.L. Wilson]

same as everyone else. i especially like the metaphors. i usually skip the lovey dovey poems that tend to plague the cafe but the title caught my eye and I'm glad i read it. Just shows how important a title is.

[Angel Baby]

Good imagery and metaphors, found your poem a pleasure to read. Thanks for sharing it.

[Raja]

I just love it for its successive flow of words with thoughts provoked to tame the minds.

"For your mouth to cover mine?

For my senses to reel

As our bodies intertwine?

Or tell me truly, is it time

To be giving up on you?" I like this portion very much.

Thank you.

Raja.

[.abigail.]

i love it, really good imagery and metaphors. so true, too.

[poetforlife]

Very well written. You embrace all the emotions of uncertainty of finding and capturing that true love that we all seek. Very impressed with your skill. Thanks for sharing.