It's Not The End

I created a story from the song "Escape from here" by Madina Lake. First writing piece so don't be too harsh :)

"No, please don't do this Cal" the sour tears began to drop from my eyes, burning my cheek as they grated over them.

"I'm sorry Jen, but it's how things are." Callum calmly replied, showing no emotion behind his words. He really did mean it. He didn't love me anymore. He was standing opposite me, a few feet away. It took all my strength to stop myself from closing the distance between us and holding him in my arms, refusing to ever let go. This could not be happening. He was so, so...perfect.

More and more tears began swelling in my eyes, bubbling down my face. I felt my knee's gradually get weaker, threatening to drop me onto the floor if i didn't pull myself together.

"Why are you doing this?" I tried to make my voice seem stronger but the words came out in whimpers.

"It's just time Jenny. Let's just say you've gone past your "sell by" date but for the last time" He coldly replied. "Look, i only came over to tell you that so i'm going now. This will be the last goodbye Jenny." He stared right into my eyes, as if he was enjoying putting me through all this pain.

"Your a b*****d Callum do you know that? All i ever did was love you, more than anyone ever could! Why do you keep doing this to me over and over again?" I began raising my voice, converting my pain into anger. He had no right to do this. He gave me a little smirk and began turning away.

"Callum" I called after him, hoping that somehow he was cruelly playing a joke on me. He ignored me and carried on walking. I stared after him, watching his legs take his heart far away from me. My knee's did as they threatened and dropped me onto the floor. I didn't have the willpower to get up, i just wanted to lie there and melt away. Disappear and never return.

Eventually droplets of rain began soaking my skin. I felt numb all over, as if i wasn't a whole person anymore. "Callum" I whispered to myself. I felt my face scrunch up, ready to release more bombs but there were no tears left. I had truly been sucked dry from the inside.

I carried on lying there, on the wet muddy floor and i planned to stay there. Suddenly, the sound of my ringtone echoed through the my ears. I thought about not answering it but then i considered the possibilities that it was Callum. I bolted onto my knees and quickly fetched my phone out my pocket.

"Callum?" i asked, sounding more eager then i should.

"No, it's Miranda. Where are you?" I let out a loud sigh of disappointment.

"Im...here. What do you want?" i harshly snapped. No wonder Callum didn't want me anymore, i was a b***h.

"Jen what's happened? Aren't you meant to be with Callum?" She asked, suspiscion arising in her tone.

"I was but he left me" My voice broke at the end of the sentence and magically, my body found more fluid to release out my tear ducts.

"When you say left...." Miranda slowly replied.

"He dumped me again Miranda. He's gone but for good this time!" I started to get hysterical. "We were getting along brilliantly! No arguements or anything. I really thought we was going to work this time you know Miranda. It's just a game to him." I slumped back into my uncomfortable position on the cold, wet floor.

"It's not the end of the world Jen, pull yourself together! This isn't the same girl i knew comforting me, back when i first had my heart broken. What happened to the "your worth more" and "it's only a boy, there's plenty more!" The quicker you try to move on, the quicker it will actually happen." Miranda boldy shouted at me through the phone. I smiled abit through the tears. She really was my best friend.

"Now leave whereever you are, come to mine and i'll entertain you to take your mind off him okay?" It really wasn't a question that Miranda was asking. I soon realised i had no choice when she cut me off. I hauled myself up off the floor. It really wasn't the end of the world, or so i could pretend. I slowly began dragging my heavy feet in the direction of Miranda's house. She was right. I needed to take my mind off him and what better way to do that, then to spend the time with your idiotic best friend?

 

I arrived at Miranda's about half an hour later. She greeted me at the door with a light but sharp slap across the head. I scowled at her. "What was that for?" I asked, confused. Was she trying to help me or bring me more pain?

She smiled and pulled me into a big bear hug. "Your so stupid Jen, letting him have this effect on you." She let go of me and pushed me into her house. "If he wants you back Jen, i'll punch him. And you for that matter if you crawl back to him....again!" 

She was right. I couldn't let him walk over me again. Enough was enough. My heart has no more room for more plasters to cover the open shot wounds his words gave me.

Author's Note

It's my first writing piece and i was just experimenting. Tell me what you think :) Look up the lyrics for "Escape from here - Madina Lake" and you should catch the drift of the story...i hope lol

Reviews

[Jules]

dont let people walk over you cos although in a strange way it feels good while they are with you it hurts like hell when they leave you :S i like this its well written and you get a good feel for the story with out you having to go into lots of background detail and stuff. wow what happened to the me who writes flowing-ly appartently i cant do it in comments only in my stories :D lol oh well i hope this comment makes sense and you enjoyed reading my random rambling :D jules your new friend i hope :D x

[Papercuts.Hate.You.Too]

wow...i love it...i LOVE it...you better keep writing or im gonna report you!!!!!!!!
lol kiding
leylia

[Jo]

Wow, this is really good. It captured my attention and you described the pain and sorrow beautifully. Your flow is excellent and you certainly have a strong writing voice in you. I also checked out the lyrics and you really connected them together. You do have a few misspellings here and there, but nothing that can't be fixed. For example, you had "knee's" where I think you meant knees and "abit" for "a bit". I did see that you live in England (I'm a little jealous of you, I might add) so I know you spell things differently like "realise" instead of "realize". But that's completely fine, I'm not telling you to fix that.

Anyway, I really liked this story. It captivated me. If I had to suggest anything to make it better, I would concentrate on some of the dialogue. The confrontation with Callum I found flowed well, but when Jen's friend calls and asked "are you meant to be with him" didn't seem quite realistic to me. How would she have known Jen was with Callum (unless, of course, Jen told her)? Or if she did know, why would she have said that exactly? That could be explained by the sound of Jen's voice, but it was a little distracting to me. That's the only part I would suggest to work on. The rest of the story though is amazing and stays true to the song. Good write.