Ages 10-13

The third and final part of my life story. This documents the beginning of my teenage years and the wacky hormonal rollercoaster I've had to endure.

If you see an asterisk (this thing: * ), check the bottom of the document for a footnote.

Upon entering 6^th grade, I realized that I was becoming a teenager, whether I liked it or not. I had a mid-life crisis at the age of 12! At that age, I was very much into anime. A weeaboo, as some would call it. I was far ahead of my age group in terms of perversion. I had discovered hentai, lolicon and the like. That was probably the only reason I was having a panic attack about becoming a teen. I would no longer be a loli!

The period between the beginning of 6^th grade and the end of 7^th grade were filled with obsessions with random anime characters that I thought were “hot” or “sexy”*. Looking back at all of that now, I've come to realize that I had horrible taste in men. But if those obsessions kept me happy, then so be it.

I've long since outgrown that stage, though. I mean to say, I still like anime, but I don't obsess as much as I used to. I'm positive that one of my friends is reading this and saying something like, “What about Mayuri**?!”. Well, he was so two months ago. I'm sorry if I skipped around to fast for you, I tend to do that.

Speaking of which, I'd better mention Susumu Hirasawa*** in here, huh? Recently (only about 2 months after finishing 7^th grade), I've become interested in a Japanese musician named Susumu Hirasawa. He has made a huge impact on my life. My mother had just broken up with her boyfriend of 5 years (the one I mentioned above), so she was depressed, which in turn made me depressed! I can't remember exactly how I became interested in him, all I know is that I absolutely adore him!

Amongst my mother's crying and my grandmother's nagging, I would let myself drift into another world by listening to Mr. Hirasawa's music. I'd never heard a voice as unique and beautiful as his. Along with his amazing voice, he doesn't look half bad, considering he's 57 years old. He was exactly what I needed at this point in my life!

I'm going to go ahead and use a cheesey metaphor here, just as the pure lotus flower blossoms out of unclean water, I rose from the darkest point in my life with a new view of the world. As sappy as that sounds, it's true! After listening to Mr. Hirasawa's music, I've been able to look at the world differently. At first I just sort of floated about in the world, not caring about the small details. But now I can walk along the sidewalk and admire each bush of roses, or every dragonfly happens to land upon my window. There may be another factor playing in on this factor, however.

If you recall, I mentioned how my mother, grandmother and I are all Jehovah's Witnesses. My mother and I didn't start until last May. I'm not going to dive into this issue in order to maintain peace, so I'll give the small details. It sure has brightened up my life! The only thing that bugs me about it is that everyone hates us, but we totally understand. I suppose I wouldn't like it either if someone knocked on my door and started reading from the bible.

Anywho, I'll get off of that subject. Something that's been bugging me in these past few months is how I tend to get very attached to people, whether I personally know them or not. All I ever want is to see everyone I care about become truly happy. I don't want them to suffer or be sad! I want to see them smiling out of true happiness! And I want them to remain like that for the rest of their lives! The only stress I ever really get is from worrying about my loved ones, so seeing them happy would sure take a load off of my shoulder's too, I suppose.

The only reason this bugs me is because somethings I think I may be a bit too caring. For instance, remember the tsunami/earthquake in Japan that happened back in March? That stressed me out so much! I was worrying about everyone (my friends, other people that I'm too embarrassed to mention) so much that I actually got sick! I hate having a naturally caring personality...

Well, here we are. I've summed up my entire life. Present day, I'm just a peaceful, 13 year old girl, who may be a bit more mature than other people her age. That's me. After writing all of this, I feel so much better, even though I know that a lot of people will probably pass their eyes over this and not care to read it! I'm just happy that someone may know what I've been through.

Footnotes:

*Sasori from Naruto, Deidara from Naruto, Grimmjow Jaggerjaquez-or-something-like-that from Bleach, etc.. I had horrible taste in anime (and men, for that matter), huh?

** What was I thinking?!

***Susumu Hirasawa! I adore that man so much. Here is one of his songs. When he was 18, he formed a Progressive rock/Newage band called Mandrake. Here's some music from Mandrake if you're interested. He was also in an Electro-pop group called P-MODEL. Here's some of P-MODEl's music.

Author's Note

Again, I apologize for the lack of indentation.