Instrumental Feelings

This is me trying to describe how certain songs can bring me back to memories I forgot I even had. It makes sense in my mind, so hopefully it will make sense in yours, too.

Tears in the form of tiny rain droplets pattered softly on my windshield. Instrumentals danced gracefully through my car speakers, pulling my thoughts far away from the moment my body resided in. The base buzzed and the cellos hummed and my mind traveled back weeks and months and years. The piano melody took my hand and whispered “come on”, so I danced with her, back to the first chill of winter.

The crunch of ice under my tires matched the tempo of the base. I watched myself, bundled up in layers of jackets and scarves, laughing as the blonde-haired boy in my passenger seat snatched the hat off my head and placed it on his own. I watched ignorance disguised as bliss. I watched short-lived happiness consume me, blind me.

I re-felt the shock, the anger, the stupidity, as a past version of myself sat in a drug store parking lot, listening with a phone to my ear and tears running down my face. The music lulled and slowed down with every declined phone call, every pleading text message, every ignored voicemail repeating “I can explain. Let me explain”.

Instruments narrated my journey. They guided me through minutes that became hours that became days of dried tears on my steering wheel and deleting long messages before sending them. 

I watched him, getting into my car and closing the door behind him. I watched his mouth move, and I heard the same thing over and over. I felt the hurt and annoyance as he cried. I shifted away from his touch and cringed through his faux honesty. The tempo rose with our voices, both of us yelling feelings we never realized we had. Things became much too real and much too personal, and the music faded back to the soft, simple strings of a cello, as he slammed the door on his way out. It started to rain. I started to cry.

The final notes brought me full circle, alone in my car with the same tears racing silently down my windshield. I blinked away old, unwelcome feelings as the song lilted it’s last note. 

The light reflecting off my glazed eyes turned from red to green, and I drove away.

Reviews

[sette]

what a wonderful story, it had provided a reader like me to enjoy the moment then suddenly the different ending, the twist is what makes this story really wonderful.