Lessons I Learned in Preschool

Some things I learned in my many years of teaching four year olds.

            We can learn a lot from four year olds. I’ve spent a good portion of my life teaching shapes and colors, saying “What sound does this animal make?” followed by, “Almost! Try again.” Teaching preschoolers is an overwhelming job. It’s messy. It’s exhausting. But it’s also rewarding, in more than one way. I worked at a preschool in my hometown for a little over five years, and I’m here to share some valuable lessons I learned along the way (some more valuable than others). 

            Number one: Precise Product Placement.

As a preschool teacher, you learn lots of things that are completely useless for any purpose other than teaching preschool. Example: Some kids refuse to wash their hands. They simply refuse it. They will fight you kicking and screaming, while you drag them to the sink by their toes and force their hands under the running water. There is no logical reason for this hatred of hand washing other than they just don’t want to.

On the other hand, some kids love to wash their hands. They do it far too often, spilling water all over the counter and floor. They walk around with wet fingers, touching anything and everything, especially the things they are definitely not supposed to touch (i.e. a teacher’s purse, a cell phone, anything electronic). Once you know which kid falls under which category, it’s simply a matter of precise, strategic planning, and constantly moving the stepping stool to places too high for little fingers to reach.

Number two: Here’s a popular teacher myth: “I don’t pick favorites”.

I pick favorites. I’d like to believe that I don’t, and that I love each student equally, and that every child makes me fall in love with teaching all over again. But to be completely honest, that’s a load of BS. There are cute kids. There are ugly kids. There are kids that make me want to rip my hair out, and there are kids who make me giggle all day long. That is okay. Picking favorites isn’t intentional or out of malice. It’s natural. Every teacher has a favorite student, even if they lie and say they don’t. The takeaway from this is not to show favoritism. Treat every child the same, even if they make you hide away in the bathroom and cry on your lunch break. Picking favorites is fine. Showing favoritism is bad, and if you’re really unlucky, it might even end in a lawsuit.

Number three: Watch what you say.

Kids remember everything except the things you want them to remember. I can’t emphasize the ridiculous amount of times I said “don’t touch that,” or “slide down feet first,” or “please don’t put that in your mouth”.

But the one time you let something slip, they will hold on and never let go.

The only story that can justify this well enough is the story of a boy named Harrison. He was three years old at the time, with an immeasurable amount of energy and a burning passion for firetrucks. On this particular day, Harrison was building a tower out of wooden blocks. He would build until the tower started to wobble, and despite his futile attempts to salvage it, the tower would surely fall.

“S**t,” Harrison said.

I just looked at him. There’s no way I heard that correctly. I brushed it off and handed him another block. He built his tower farther and farther towards the ceiling, until he had to hand me the blocks because he could no longer reach. Once gravity took its toll, the tower fell, and Harrison stared longingly at the pile of blocks that was once his greatest accomplishment. “S**t,” he repeated.

            “Harrison!” I scolded.

            He looked back at me, with big, innocent, blue eyes. I told him “We don’t say that in preschool,” to which he replied “Why?”

            Number four: When kids ask “Why?”, it’s not because they want an answer, it’s because they want to hear themselves talk.

            I would answer Harrison’s question with “Because kids aren’t allowed to say those words.”

            “Why?”

            “Because it’s a bad word.”

            “Why?”

            “Because it is.”

            Harrison looked at me, sensing my frustration. He turned his head ever so slightly, as a devious smile started to creep across his face. “But why?”

            It begins to turn from a genuine question into a fun little game that is actually only fun for the kids. I’m all for promoting curiosity among small children, but at a certain point, the Why? game is only fun for one participant.

            The only way to quench their undying need for answers is to distract them. I wish I could tell you there is a stopping point, or the kids will give up once they get bored, but trust me when I say they will never give up. They will keep repeating that incessant question until their throats dry up and they can no longer speak clearly. With Harrison, all it takes is a simple, “Can you tell me something about firetrucks?” And boy, does that get him going.

            Number five: Everyone wants to be loved.

            There is a point in everyone’s life where you realize just how lonely you really are. From a four-year-old girl who isn’t invited to a birthday party, to a rich, divorced mother who drops off her child at preschool to get day drunk off bottomless mimosas.

            As an observer in the preschool parent-child relationships, I have noticed some odd similarities between children and their parents, but this one stays at the forefront of my mind. I constantly have little boys and girls tell me that they weren’t included in Jessica’s game of tag, or that Michael said he won’t share his legos. However, the most eye-opening and heart breaking type of loneliness comes from the kids that don’t brag about it.

            The girl who walks in without a word, while her father argues with someone over the phone. The mothers in workout clothes who drop off their children at 8AM sharp, and only to return at 5:30 on the dot, or send a nanny in their place. The quiet kids who lash out at odd times, and are always lacking clean sheets for nap time, or healthy food in their lunch box. It’s the unsuspecting kids who need the most love, because their parents are far too busy to provide it on their own.

            Sometimes it’s not always the parents that are at fault. A young mother, going through a messy divorce as the product of an unsuspecting affair. A widowing father, who has to work through the grief of each day to provide for his small family. Loneliness is everywhere. It’s woven into the seams of a child’s comfort blanket, and etched into the lines of a hand that hasn’t been held in years. Love is something that everyone wants, whether you’re five years old or fifty.

            As a teacher, I’ve learned that there isn’t much I can do about a neglectful parent or a dying marriage. Something I can do however, is be nice to people. Give the troublesome child the benefit of the doubt. Hold the door for a busy mother. Treat everyone you encounter with respect and kindness. Be nice to people, because you never know what they’re going through.

            While working at preschool is the most natural form of birth control, I believe it also works wonders for the soul. There is nothing more heartwarming than a child who’s face lights up when they see you on Monday morning, or hearing “Miss Caroline, will you play with me?” on a long day. There are days where I dread working (especially on water day), and days when I can’t wait to get back into the classroom. Every job has its ups and downs.

            Teaching preschoolers is an overwhelming job. It’s messy. It’s exhausting. But I can’t imagine what my life would be like without it, in the best way possible.