Split

A constant argument with yourself

I'm so exhausted by this person,

Inside of my head,

This irritating,

Intense,

Panic ridden,

Person,

Who refuses rest in my bed.

She makes me subconsciously sick up breath,

Until my breath is scarce,

She wants to think about death,

To see me squirm and hurt,

When I only want to rest.

It gets miserable and scared,

It says I'm lonely,

It says I'm not fine,

It replays events again and again,

Even when it's not threatening,

Its annoying the whole of my mind!

It won't stop talking, remembering things from long ago.

How about a replay?

And I'm telling it shut up, no.

Its so confusing, creating false situations until I actually feel closer or less close to the people I know,

It makes me re-think aspects of my life that I thought were okay not to know.

I stare into darkness, hope it'll pass,

But I'm locked around its  finger,

And its got me by the a*s.

It won't let me be in the present, 

It refuses to let me dream,

It wants me to panic,

To feel something,

Make frantic,

Until I run out of breath and scream.

I gasp for breath, understanding how you can drown yourself without any water,

Realising why the metaphors so well used as I write her.

And I look for a source of light to take it off my mind.

But its beneath me, underneath me, 

Its a reef all around me.

And I can't escape it in that moment, 

I can only hide it.

Author's Note

If you're in a particularly good mood, probably avoid this one or don't take it to heart as much. If you can relate, know that it does get better, and it will.

Reviews

[ROXANE DORSEY]

thanks for this poem. its very interesting.