The Five Senses of Education

How school systems have managed to help children feel with their five senses.

You stare so long, 

Numbers once understandable, blur, 

Words once readable, conjoin, 

The world spins relentlessly. 

You listen too hard, 

Voices croak out lessons, 

Yelling becomes screaming, 

Reality is deafening

You feel too much

Pencils become snakes, 

Erasers scratch away your sanity, 

Bones break with a hush. 

You taste everything, 

Jokes protect you, 

Bitter words harm you, 

Salt stains your tongue. 

You smell everything, 

Sweat is putrid, 

Sustenance no more fills, 

Blood is but another obstacle.

Author's Note

The poem is meant to have a choppy feel, to mimic how students thoughts go. There is always so much going on within their mind, especially when hormones come into play, and with how much is pressured upon them, their brains can only do so much at one time.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Having been a straight-A student who continued college well into my 20's & 30's just for fun, this point of view is quite different from what I experienced & I feel bad if this is what it's really like for most young people in school! Even tho I find your message disturbing & even doubtful, you've done a great job expressing it in creative & well-organized terms, associating each of the senses with a variety of observations well-stated. One of the best lines: "jokes protect you" . . . everyone knows comics are created thru adversity.

[Lorry]

I like how you managed to portray this in a way that is totally transferrable to working life too. As I read this, I shuddered at the thought of thirteen weeks training stuck in an office, then let loose on the general public with a deer in the headlights look and a million thoughts running through your brain, half of which is just the word AARGH on constant loop, between panic attacks.
All I remember of school was well, all that you mention here, but especially the sounds and smells. I couldn't get out the door quickly enough.
That school day feeling is exactly the same as a Monday morning for everyone else facing work too. But apart from that, and Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, it's all good :)

[Lauren]

I'm glad you could relate with my poem - and I totally understand work, I actually didn't even think about that relation with this poem. But it's true, all these feelings can be accompanied within the halls of a job, especially during those dreaded training weeks. It's all so sad, that as children in school, we wanted nothing more than to escape the worries it all brought us. I always love your reviews because you always see something new I hadn't really even thought of, and it all works together so awesomely!

[Lorry]

Thank you :)
You hit the nail on the head saying we want nothing more than to escape our worries, those things have a habit of following you around like a bad smell too :)

[D]

Gawd... I'm so glad to be working instead of being trapped in that system they call education. lol.

Well penned though..Reminded me of those "care free " days in school.

[Lauren]

Ya, the education system has definitely seen better days in the past. Thank you for your review, I'm glad you liked my poem!

[D]

you are welcome.

[Monchie]

The authors note... I'm thinking you might look down on students, and their brain...It's kind of...Well, not really cool.
I liked the write though. Nicely done.

[Lauren]

Hmm, well that's not what I was going for at all. I was referring to the psychological aspects of school and how students brains can only handle so much at one time, especially when the school system pressures them into knowing so much. Every persons brain can only handle so much, I didn't meant at all that it's only students. In addition, students during school, especially middle school, are dealing with hormones, and their brains are still going through some serious developments. With that, and the school shoving information down their throats, at times, it can just be too much. I'm really coming from a personal point of view, especially in the A/N, and I know that my account is not that much different than others. I don't want you to think at all that I'm looking down on people, because that's the farthest thing from what I was trying to say.
Thank you for your comment, I'm glad you liked the poem.

[WordKnurd]

I really enjoyed this poem! I do think you have to be careful though. If you are going to write a poem about the five senses you absolutely cannot be afraid to over do the imagery. My absolute favorite part of this poem is the third stanza for that very reason. I'm not simply understanding its meaning, I am experiencing that meaning first hand. I can feel the scratching and the bone breaking, I can see pencils slithering across the desk. Some of the other stanzas do not have that tangibility. Try substituting certain thoughts for something more vivid. Squeeze or burn instead of "harm." Putrid or acrid instead of "burdening." That sort of thing.
Otherwise, very well done. Please review one of mine if you get the chance.

[Lauren]

Thank you! I definitely agree on imagery, no fear there! I do see what you mean for the substitute words, thank you for your advice!

[Adam Adams]

my fav. lines:

"jokes protect you, bitter words harm you."

very deep & so realistic words you come up with. the depth & the reality of school-days you have nicely poured down in such poetic verses. nicely written!

[Lauren]

Thank you!

[Coyote Poetry]

The statements are true. School can be a bear. Later in life we understand. Wasn't that bad. Life is harder. I like the logic of the poetry. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Lauren]

Thank you! School is definitely something that's hard for most children, and it's so true that when you finish, it all calms down.

[Coyote Poetry]

Yes it does and you are welcome.

[Lucien Maier]

nice I love the formatting!

[Lauren]

Thank you!

[Lucien Maier]

welcome :)

[Surabhi Kaushik]

would love to read what your work of fiction is all about

[Surabhi Kaushik]

It is a very strong and powerful poem. I liked the different usage of figurative speech like Jokes protect you,
Bitter words harm you,
Salt stains your tongue. Totally awesome!!!
Great work... and greater depth. Congratulations

[Lauren]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!