The Abyss of Depression

I wrote this for a contest centered on Depression, but was inspired by past events of my life that were lived in Depression. Each persons journey is different, but all can agree, that it is a dark.

There is nothing. It's a black abyss that goes on and on and on. When you fall in, the sky disappears and the ground shatters beneath your feet. You feel lost, even though you are confined within walls of pure black. You feel claustrophobic, as if invisible walls enclose on you - controlled by your ever rolling thoughts. 

Your heart pounds and you scream, but only a faint cry is heard behind the riptide of noises scattered in your brain. Your stomach wants to purge itself of nothing so that it may feel as empty as your emotions. Tears roll down your cheeks like a raging river, and your hair is knotted like the frayed end of a rope. 

You can hear people above you, walking, talking, laughing, being as who they are meant to be. They live in the light, the world you once knew and felt. Now you thrive on the darkness, survive to the next day only to wake up and begin to survive once more. You listen carefully to each conversation, wishing you were a part of it. 

Yet you want to be alone. The blackness gives you that, but it also takes it away. As alone as you are from people, you are still surrounded by your thoughts. They act like a thousand people surrounding you, hounding for your attention, your opinion, awaiting for you to say something so profound they have no choice but to leave. 

You open your mouth, ready to send them away, ready to go to the top world again. You open your mouth, and nothing comes out. The voices laugh at you, teeth rip away the last of your free will, claws entangle themselves within your emotions and tug at them ever so gingerly. 

You close your eyes. You allow yourself to be enveloped into the world. You decide that survival is futile, the only way, in fact, to do so, is to accept that this is your fate. Your eyes close, you listen to your breathing, you feel your chest moving at an elevation you don't remember, and you let the blackness become one with you. 

Reviews

[Robert Parlange]

One of the great problems with depression is that people seem to think it’s like a cold or the flu. “You’ll get past it. It’ll run its course.” Of course you don’t and it doesn’t. You just learn to cope with it. It’s a scar that no one can see. But you can see it. And feel it. Understanding is the only cure. Both from yourself and others.

Good write.

[Lauren]

You totally hit depression on the head. It's nothing you get over, it's something you fight, every day of your life. And there are those that get back to the top, but the scars are forever deep and constantly remembered.

Thank you for your awesome review!

[Damon Chambers]

Wow. It's almost as if you are reading my mind. You are able to capture the pure essence of what I see depression as. Excellent piece, enjoyed it very much.

[Lauren]

Thank you, I'm glad my writing was able to touch your mind :)