30th Birthday Coming

Well .... I bet your surprised to see me return again ( if you Remember me & my story & poems ) before I got hysterically upset from listening to my sister and deleted it all . ... I bet its a shock to see me return after I deleted my account because I listen to people too much.... because I have been so emotional about everything I just don't know what to think and feel anymore so I turn to others for guidance and help about it because I feel so alone in trying to defeat this ..... but I just felt that well ... truthfully I just had to keep writing about it again I been enduring this for a very long time & I just cannot suppress what has happen to me anymore just to make everyone comfortable about their feelings & choices about not being able to help me Get Victory or wanting me to expose MY TRUTH about it all ! & I don't care about punctuation and things being incorrect I'm not here for that ... I just feel like I can write about it here and some people understand and some don't but you know what sometimes things are not meant to be understood only accepted and I'm not going to be mute about this any longer as some of you may remember from last time when I was here writing and talking about it before !
But it's coming up on my 30th Birthday & I'm still not free from this Entity or Demon that I screwed up and yielded to thinking it was God ...... & I'm getting tired again & I stay pysichally ill I really think this thing is screwing with my insides and trying to take me out from the inside also its not just mentally and physically breaking me down its also spiritually & emotionally breaking me down also ....... every aspect of me is being challenged and punished by this Spiritual Warfare with The f*****g Demonic realm & it's posession that I stupidly gave it over my body ..... my head constantly feels like it's going to explode especially when they try to pray over me and deliver me from its VERY STRONGHOLD over ME ...... and nobody can help me get Victory ! All this damn thing does is rage & lash out at them when they try ..... And all the while I'm its own personal pin cushion .... since I gave it a HOME inside me & now it doesn't want to move out and is kicking and screaming and threatening and messes with my family even ...... ( Supernaturally also ) even friends and strangers it has spoken to from long distances away that were trying to help me ..... I don't know what I yielded to that day all I know is it appeared to me as A Golden Light ...... And now My 30th birthday is coming around & I feel like I don't even want to be here for it !

# It's winning The War from within me
& #My whole family is falling apart and has become just as discouraged and confused and angry and hurt as I am Broken & feeling defeated !

Author's Note

My story & poems are Not for the faint of heart

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I'm glad you are still writing. I haven't stopped. Last year close to 500 new poems. I expanded to others sites also. I hope you saved your old work. I do paper, back-up disk and two sites. Can't allow the naysayers. I need my reading and writing. My peace. Please send read request when you write.
Coyote