Macy-chapter two

Chapter Two-Macy

What can I tell you  about Macy? On My return to the orchard setting, I spy little miss Macy sneaking behind a stonewall and giggling a bit too loudly as she plans an attack on her Father  me , Adam if I have not introduced myself . I wait with my eyes on her all the time as she plans the situation and the being hidden part with just a bit too much head above the wall. The snickers(sniggers?)waiting until just before she pops up and I reach over and she screams “rrrrr”.

I snatch her over the wall, my hand under her shoulder and lifting her up to my face, only to see her eyes pinched shut in a grimace of mock terror. With slits of her eyes checking the situation she laughs a belly laugh and calls to Mr. Carrey that “He got Me”...as he shakes his head at the foolishness and moves off down the hill to hurry his charges to finishing the picking…fruit in basket and basket in kitchen and plums sorted.

Plums falling to the parched earth and squished under foot in the hurry, fruit the birds and chickens and other foul will devour.

Macy “My darling little one, what…(from still sitting on my shoulders)...do you want now?” “Down… Down…now”…and as her tiny feet hit the earth she looks up from under those pensive brows and mischievous grin and darts down the path and straight into the kitchen door.

 Just as I  paused in my enjoying the sight of her running in the house,  I thought about her growing up and that she was possibly old enough to take an adult share of the load... from her mother after her morning piano lessons and math lessons by her older sisters.

Perhaps the laundry loads or folding or ironing…but those would seem to be more agitation to her mother  than helping..

What do you have an in between age little one do to help with the day in day out living…

We believe that the one thing accomplished by this farm living is the togetherness of our calendars. The most family together in the living arrangements and the Father as the head of the household.

 We were following Macy thru the house ..all screams and impish postures and child still of the household.I see the error of My ways in thinking she will be anything other than My littlest one for now.

Reviews

[Larry Dyson]

i'm playing with a whole new writing style and it seems to be alluding Me..?but ..thanx for the critiques...makes sense..

[KAOlmsted]

To have this chapter as all one paragraph is a bit daunting to see; most readers don't want huge chunks of exposition...they like small bits of information in easy to read installments. While the premise for the chapter is good, introducing Macy, the execution needs a little work. I don't much care for those "stage directions" for lack of a better term in the parentheses. You should be able to show me through action where Macy is sitting, not giving me an aside in the middle of dialogue. Hope this helps :-D

[Tina Kline]

A very enjoyable chapter. I really like Macy and it was fun reading about her too.

[cartera]

As good as the first.
Just a personal dislike: I always feel that when I a writer steps in to say such as 'But . . . I digress' I am being taken away from the tight mental scene that I had created from the writing, and am now aware that it is just a story, just a story, with more to come. My, the reader's, participation in the suspension of disbelief is lessened. People do digress in their thoughts. So? Let the reader follow without the apology.
Good writing in a style that I like.
ATB
Alex.

[Audrey Howitt]

Macy is an imp! The pensive moment with Adam is wonderful here---you might stay with it longer perhaps.

[Morrigan Nicole]

Once again, a brilliant chapter. The description makes you feel more like you are in the story and not staring at it through a sheer gray curtain. the words have visible emotion of joy, humor and adoration. simply beautiful.

-Morrigan