Angelina

  It is the 1980's, I think, and if it's not it might as well be. Sparrow has backcombed her hair like Robert Smith and is skanking around the bedroom to a scratchy A.R. Kane vinyl she picked up at a car boot sale last week. Her origami face is obscured by fringe, dyed a disgusting trashy black colour she chose on purpose. Her twisting feet make no sound on the polished floorboards in their thick socks. I slept for a long time, but the last time I checked it was still early Autumn, and the dry dusty sunlight that the window is utilising to make a spotlight for Sparrow seems to confirm my suspicions.

  I am laying on the floor, looking up at her. She’s wearing an oversized Smiths t-shirt and from this angle I can see her flat stomach moving a little out of step with the bassline. The hairs on the back of my neck prickle, and almost involuntarily I reach out and run my finger down her calf. She stops stock still for a moment before her whole body loosens and she sits down, cross-legged, beside me. Her head rolls backwards like the muscles in her neck have been severed and I trace my initials on the base of her throat with my fingernail. Taking her hands in my own, I pull her down on top of me and kiss her, time and time again, on the cheekbones, mostly, the way they jut from her little white face invites me to do so. I feel lucky for once to be in possession of such a lanky figure- if I were any heavier Sparrow’s slight frame would make me feel bulky and lumbering. She slips her thumb under the strap of my bra and, stroking my shoulder softly, she eases it down a little. We make love on the floor, in the September light (is it September?), and when we’re both spent Sparrow falls fast asleep, as I knew she would. Stepping gently so as not to wake her, I re-dress, kiss her on the cheek and creep to the bathroom. Once I’m inside I lock the door, take my Swiss army knife from where I slipped it between the towels the night before and, leaning over the bath so I don’t cause so much mess, I calmly slice open the blue veins running along the length of my wrist.