Drowning

A metaphor

“Because if you think about it, drowning is just another extended metaphor for this pathetic life that we claim to live.”

You start off thinking you’re okay, that you have time to reach up and break the surface, so you take your time, letting the pressure slowly lessen and lessen as the light grows brighter. But just as you're about to reach the surface something grabs hold of your ankle and you plummet back down to the dark depths of where you started. The pressure gets more and more intense and your lungs feel like they’re on fire, your diaphragm is spasming begging you to take that first breath, but you keep fighting because there’s always the hope that you will be saved. You know people saw you go under, they must be wondering why you haven’t come up for air yet, right? Arms flailing and pressure building, the water somehow invades your body, pouring in, filling you to the top. The first choking sting is almost unbearable, and you chastise yourself for being so stupid and weak to let it in. But before you know it, your mind is spinning, and your lips are smiling, because this is the end, you finally made it. Suspended in this dark current of memories and hope your mind slows and your breathing stops. Your heart is beating to the sound of your tears and relief floods your muscles as the dark blur around you fades into nothingness. And the nothingness takes over the rest.

The rough surface beneath you is solid against your back, you feel the splinters pressing into the exposed flesh that your clothes don’t quite meet. Your eyes are pried open by the blinding light and the warm nurturing hands that brought you back. Those hands flip you onto your side as what feels like gallons of water empty from your body, choking and constricting you. You turn to the hands that saved you,

where gratitude is waiting to be received,

concerned faces

overcome with relief, pride, and awe

crowding your body,

all you can think is why did you have to save me?

Why couldn’t you have let me drown?

I was so close to peace, to contentment,

only to be pulled back to complete the life I was already finished with, forced to complete it for yet another time.