Strength From My Mother

A free-write of where I got my strength.

It sometimes might not seem like the truth but the strongest people tend to fall the hardest. When I think about the strongest people in my life, I think about my mother who endured a lonely child-hood(being homeless and on the streets), to an abusive husband and a life of constant poverty. She didn't only raise her children but she raised a grown man who couldn't grow up"he just couldn't find the strength inside him-self to pull up off the ground and be a man.

A man that jumps from woman to woman because they don’t know how to take care of themselves is no man at all, a man that didn't buy his woman a single rose"or pick a flower for her is no man at all. And a man that tells his sixteen-year-old daughter she needs to “go f**k boys,” is not a father at all.

Strength is my mother’s lonely child-hood.
Searching for milk to survive.
Looking for shelter and warmth.
Only to be found in a cigarette..

Peering through window’s during Christmas…
Imagining, wishing, pondering…
Your family someday.
Oh, that seemingly perfect family.
(playing on a winter day)
(board games and hot coco)
Oh, that seemingly perfect family.

Not a days or months…
but long, long years…

 Enduring that Mortal Hell.

Abusive, bottom feeder husband.
He'd kill her if she left
So, she tried to kill herself

Instead. 

Raising her children, alone. 

The abusiveness never ends.
Oh, it never ends. 

And even when he’s gone. 

He's haunting our lives. 

The flashbacks and memories. 

The taunting and fearful eyes. 

Our haunted minds bring him back. 

It's the subconscious 
He poisoned

These haunted memories are vivid. 

Reliving and feeling each visit. 
I'll be damned if my heart ever becomes. 

livid. 

And dead to me he'll be. 

Forever just a haunting...

Memory 

Author's Note

Just a free-write today... Letting out some thoughts to get that writers block out of the way. Either way, real thoughts, real story.

Reviews

[Eve S.]

Reading this sort of gave me the same feeling I got from "The Wife-beater", by Anne Sexton.

I could feel for the mother, and more intensely for the speaker whose strength is roaring throughout these wintry, melancholic lines. Thinking that it's real... It makes one shiver. Yet I can't say I found it hard to believe the credibility of the unspoken pain, and of the brutality which sometimes, alas, surpasses the humanity of mortals. Speaking of it so genuinely must have taken courage. I believe you're brave. :)

I thank you for sharing. It made me feel less lonesome. It made me feel good, I dare say, to know someone else has been through similar distress and could turn it into such a touching poetic piece.

Peace

[LauraraMonique]

Thank you soo much, it was truly one rough challenge, but I've learned the hardest battles make the best writing! Thank you so much for your kind review, it gave me more courage to post the novel.. I've been thinking about doing so, one chapter at a time.

I plan to check out your writing! I can't wait to see all of your amazing pieces! & I hope you had a wonderful weekend and that your day is going well!

Best,

Laurara Monique

[Eve S.]

You're most welcome. :)

[DoormanDan]

By the time I got done reading this, I was left feeling really bad about complaining about anything in my life. I'm really sorry to hear that your mother had to go through all of that as a child. The fact that she endured so many hardships and made it all the way through without giving in just proves how strong of a person she really is, and I'm sure that you are a very strong individual yourself. :)

[Aries1984]

You write very deep! I see that you love, and maybe prefer to write stories, but you should seriously write more poetry as well. Or maybe you do have more poetry but very guarded about what you share? I'm the same way too. I'm only now getting more comfortable with sharing my stuff. However, most of my older work, that is too private for me and therefore I'm very guarded about what I share out of that folder.

[sereenaoutloud]

OMG i was captivated from start to finish...i could feel the strength in every word you wrote.. you voice comes across strong and steady as you paint the picture of what was your childhood. Too many a child and too many a women have to go through this abusive hell and it does amaze me how they not only endure it day after day but how they grow to be courageous and strong like yourself ..even with such a rough start to life!!
This write is so raw and honest i had goosebumps throughout reading it!!
Brilliant LauraraMonique

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for sharing this poem. Told a story of struggle and surviving.
"And dead to me he'll be.
Forever just a haunting...
Memory "
Hard to kill bad memories. I believe we must learn from them. Thank you for sharing the powerful poetry.
Coyote

[JayceeC]

After eleven years on writing sites, I am no longer shocked by the hardships snd cruelties tha people endure.I am however, deeply saddened by it. Yet at tthe same time, I am encouraged by the strength of the human spirit and its ability to overcome the crap life throws at it.
Both you and your mother could have buckled, but you chose to fight and go on looking for better. Thank you for sharing your story; you never know when it will provide hope for others.

[Dallas Miller]

This is a heart-wrenching and unfortunate vivid tale of abuse, depression, and attempting to overcome the devastation that he left behind. Because even after he's gone, it is still torture. Growing up without a loving father, and for your mother feeling forced to be good to this "man" who doesn't deserve her, and as you said in the wonderful piece, it leaves a poison that will be incredibly difficult to overcome.

This moved me and makes me feel for both the children and the poor mother. The fact is, so many people are abused by the very person who is meant to protect them and no matter what happens, that abuse will live on. The people who have dealt with abuse from a parent will grow stronger because of it, but it's unfortunate that it ever should have happened. I think your poem really makes you understand the pain you, your mother, and your family went through dealing with your father and I do not envy what you went through.

Great writing I look forward to more from you! Thank you.

[Brendan Warkentin]

This writing truly pulls you in and keeps you wondering what's next. It's sad to think these things really happen in the world. It's sad that any child or wife should ever be entrenched in the sorrowful, tear-soaked chains that a "man" like this finds such disgusting pleasure binding them with. It has to be extraordinarily difficult recounting such a difficult past. But it's a powerful message to those with a heart, and it's an important one. The sad fact is these things do exist in the world. But speaking up, as painful as it can be, is a strong step forward in combating this kind of sick abuse. Your voice speaks out of the silenced crowd to shed light where it needs to be shed. You bravely illuminate the dark shadows of domestic violence (both physical and emotional) and encapsulate the inhumanity so many are dealt and continue to suffer under. This message needs to be spread widely, lest this heart-wrenching trend continue to destroy such a great number of precious and innocent lives.

Excellent work and best wishes as you continue undertaking your book!