L.O.S.T.

I wanted to scream

I wanted to burst into tears

I wanted to get drunk

And kill myself...

But all I could do

Was stare at the wall

And let the tears roll down

I wanted to show you 

All my pain

My scars 

And my darkness

But I was scared 

That if you knew 

I wasn't that happy little girl

That you would run away from me

And never come back

I didn't want you to leave 

I didn't want to loose you yet

I didn't want you to think

I was not normal

I couldn't tell you

That there are nights

 Where i cry so hard

That my body aches 

And my pillow gets soaked 

I didn't want you to see my weak points

Cause I loved being this 

Brave little girl trying to kick a*s in the dark world

I didn't want you to see

That I had no light but 

Darkness and numbness in me

I wanted to show you that 

There is hope 

Cause I care so much about 

you

That i can't deal with you 

Being like me

So I tried to make you happy

I tried to give you love

Even though 

I could not love myself 

But as time grew

You started to show

Me how to smile 

How to breath again

And for all that 

I gave you all my heart

Cause you were pulling me up 

From the deep dark water

That i was drowning in for years

But i guess my love was not enough for you 

Cause you let go

You watched sink back down

You saw me fade 

And become 

One

WITH THE DARKNESS 

But i see you didn't care 

so tell me 

How many times will you shutter my heart until it dies 

Reviews

[BlackPrince]

All I can say is that you should deeply and truly love yourself first. Your happiness does not depend on anyone else. A lover can only complement you and enhance you. You must enhance each other in joy, playfulness, sincerity, love and care.
People must know that you were doing just fine before they arrived in your life.

Value yourself. Life is precious.

WELL DONE

[A hare off]

An extremely sad and lonely piece of writing. You expressed these feeling very well.