Chapter 15

I heard voices before I saw anything. Whispers more like it, and the occasional beeping sound. Were they really whispering though? Or was I really that out of it. Some of it was in English; the other bit was in Spanish. My body felt tied down, like a giant rope had strangled my so tightly, but not tight enough to kill me. My head was on a pillow though, but it felt like absolute s**t. It ached and thumped at the same time, the worst migraine that I had ever gotten in my whole life. I really felt like absolute s**t. Am I dead?

My hearing was really in and out. At times I could hear the whispering but then it would just fade away and all I could be able to hear was static in my ears, and that just made the migraine worse. It felt really bizarre being in the dark, all I could see was blackness, my eyes unable to open even slightly at the moment. I knew I was conscious but the situation was beginning to frustrate me and I had just woken up. People were talking around me, their voices getting clearer but I still could not understand that rapid Spanish nonsense.

And then I heard his voice.

When is she going to wake up?

His voice was so clear, clearer than the rest. As clear as a tropical ocean on a bright sunny day. As clear as one of the windows in my hotel room. Harry’s voice was so recognisable it was almost like my brain clicked into place as soon as he began to talk. I must’ve been sleeping, or in a coma. Or something similar to that.

I had a dream whilst I was ‘sleeping’. I dreamt that I was back in Australia, back at home. I was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling fan revolving around and around. The sun was shining through my open window and I could hear children playing outside, probably the neighbours. Over the outside sounds, I hear voices coming from behind my close bedroom door.

These voices were neither harsh nor pleasing voices, just keeping to the same tone through the whole time. They were muffled because of my door; I could not make out anything of the conversation. Suddenly, a hand stretched over the frame of my window, gripping the insides of it. The hand was grubby and unkempt, the fingernails were unsightly. I tried to scream but nothing came out of my mouth. I tried to get up off the bed but I couldn’t move myself at all.

Everything in my room started to move towards the window, like the hand was sucking everything into its black hole. Things were moving quicker than other things; some of them had already flown out of the window. My bed was moving slowly towards the hand and I was still freaking out, trying to scream out to the voices on the other side of the door, desperately wanting to get out of there but nothing seemed to work. The hand kept trying to climb up into the window, possibly trying to escape the vortex itself. The bed was dangerously close to the window and I could feel the wind of the hole sucking me in, it was so strong I could feel myself being lifted up off the bed.

In the last second before I was sent flying, I saw my bedroom door slam open. In the door frame were mum and Ernesto, just watching me lose my battle, flying out of the window. My heart was shattered, that they hadn’t even tried to help me. As I fell, someone gripped my hand and I smashed against the side of the house. I looked up and I saw the person that the hand belonged to. It was my dad. He looked down on me, as he gripped the window frame with one hand and me in the other.

My dad looked like a hobo, literally. His clothes were tattered and worn out, his hair had grown longer and he had a terrible beard. The hand that I was holding onto was slimy and disgusting my I held onto it. I could feel us slipping, his hand couldn’t hold onto the window for very much longer. Right before we were both about to fall into the black hole, he looked down at me and mouthed the word ‘Harry.’ And at that moment, he let go and we fell in.

Harry… I repeated, after remembering that moment in my dream. I had absolutely no idea what it meant, once again, like most times, I was extremely confused.

I could feel myself waking up, my body slowly turning back on. Electricity was beginning to run through my body, starting it up like an old machine. Even though my eyes were closed, I could feel my fingers moving and I knew they were. Feeling was slowly returning.

Harry… Trying to sit up but failing extremely, I wasn’t THAT awake yet. I could see my eyelashes now, and some light a bit beyond them. The light seemed so far away, like my eyes were in a tunnel and they were rolling towards it…. If that even makes sense.

She’s waking up! I heard his voice again. It made me even more motivated to wake up quicker. Then something gripped my hand, I presumed it was Harry. He squeezed tightly but not too tightly.,

Light from the ceiling blinded me as my eyes began to open fully. Be careful, she may be still in shock. An accented voice spoke to Harry, he spoke with much authority and knowledge, I could tell he was in charge and I hadn’t even looked at him.

I gripped Harry’s hand, just to give him further proof that I was awake. The lenses in my eyes cleared and I was able to gather in my surroundings. I was lying in a hospital bed, or in a doctor’s room. I must’ve been in a hospital because my window was facing high rise buildings. There was a drip in my arm and I was strapped to the bed by a thick hospital blanket which looked unnaturally clean. The door of my room was closed although I could hear people passing by outside. Horns honked down below on the busy streets of Valencia. The lights on the ceiling were so harsh I thought I was going to pass out again. A tall man with a white coat was standing beside a box which looked like it was monitoring my heart rate, he looked down on me with concern. With his salt and pepper hair combed back and that smoulder, he looked like a Spanish Pierce Brosnan.

Harry was seated on a small chair right next to my bed. Both his hands were cupped around my right hand, still squeezing. He looked absolutely exhausted, the bags under his eyes were extremely obvious and dark and also kind of confronting.  His hair looked like he had just walked through a category 5 cyclone and lived.

I smiled at him slightly, it hurt to move the muscles in my face. He brightened up and swiftly let go of my hand and clasped his hands together and held it up to the ceiling/sky. “THANK GOD! SHE’S AWAKE!!!!”

For a moment he just stood there with his hands clasped together and it was a tiny bit awkward for me who said nothing and just lay there staring at him. He realised I was staring after a while and sat back down on his small leather chair.

Looking around one more time I asked, “Where the hell am i?”

Harry opened his mouth to speak but before he could say anything, the doctor interrupted. “I can answer that.” Harry looked away with a bit of a red face but the doctor took no notice. “You’re at Hospital Aguas Vivas. A private hospital of course. “

Before I could ask why he kept going, whilst taking out random equipment and walking over to the other side of my bed. “You were admitted around 3 hours ago by this young man here.” He nodded over to Harry who had his arms crossed across his chest, analysing my face as the doctor spoke. “We have done blood tests on you already and we have come to conclusion that your drink was spiked with a substance which is yet to be named, but it seems to be a sort of narcotics.”

I was absolutely stunned. I had always watched those videos in P.E about those teens that get their drinks spiked at parties and bars but I really never thought it would happen to me. Just goes to show…

Harry’s gaze was now down at his feet, he kept nodding his head and muttering to himself. His hands were now sitting on his lap, his thumbs fiddling around themselves.

There was a commotion outside the door, arguing and a bit of feet stamping could be heard. All of our heads turned to see what was happening. I was just trying to comprehend what was actually happening to me when all of a sudden, Mum burst through the door with a fierce look in her eyes. Her face was completely red and there was sweat running down her forehead.

She stormed up to the front of my bed and looked at everyone around 10 times and then finally turned to me. Her eyes twitched as she tried to focus on what was happening, I could tell that behind the anger in her eyes there was extreme fear. Her mouth opened and closed a few times before she could come up with anything to say.

A nurse rushed in in protest, flailing her arms around and ranting in Spanish but the doctor held up his hand at her and beckoned her to leave. She slumped in silence and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her with a slam. Harry jumped in his seat as the sound echoed around the room.

“What were you thinking Matilda?!?!” Mum finally managed to demand with a slight stutter in her voice. Her arms were crossed across her chest and her fingernails were pressed into her skin, leaving marks as she lifted them up ever so often.

“I… Mum I don’t even know what happened.” Tears were forming in my eyes. I was so confused about everything and then mum came storming in with her menopausal hormones. It was just all too much to handle really.

Her face was beginning to turning absolutely crimson. “Oh really? Then how come I was called to the hospital at 2am?!?! What was happening there Matilda?” Her foot was impatiently tapping on the floor tiles, echoing a rhythm throughout the room.

The doctor moved to stand next to mum. “Sorry Mrs.Garrot I must explain. I am Dr. Julio Puerto.” He lifted up his pass which hung around his neck; mum peered into it, observing it very carefully as if looking for faults. “Your daughter Matilda is in a stable condition. I was just explaining to her that she had drunk something at a party which contained a substance which we believe to be some sort of narcotics.”

Mum looked as shocked as ever, still enraged though. Dr. Puerto seemed as if his explanation was sufficient so he walked over to my bedside, next to the drip. He examined the properties of the drip and then turned to me, “I’m going to take you off the drugs now. Your heart rate is stable but we’ll need to wait a few more hours to check on your condition before you can be released.” He took my hand and carefully removed the cord which contained the drugs and then took the machine out of the room, leaving Mum, Harry and I alone.

I was annoyed at Dr.Puerto, why did he leave us alone? Sufficient awkwardness was approaching I could sense it. Harry had not said anything, he just sat on his chair and was doing a fine job of sinking into himself and staying unnoticed, and I admired that.

Mum shook her head and paced around the room. “Matilda Garrot… How could you get yourself involved in such a thing?! I thought you knew better. All those lessons they give you at school, you’d think they were enough, especially for someone as sensible as you. But no! Look at where we are! Are you ashamed? What will people think when they find out?” Finally she stopped pacing the room and stared out of the window at the shinning lights that reflected from the apartments and the moonlight. The light shone on her face, illuminating her skin. “What would your father think?” She pressed her fingers against her temples.

Something she remembered in that moment in time, her eyes shone like the stars that reflected against the window pane. I wondered whether it was a memory of my dad, something cheerful and merry, far from what was happening in this moment in time. For a brief moment she looked young and refreshed with the accompaniment of the moonlight, but it was all washed away after she turned to me and frowned, her wrinkles and age marks returning once again.

She returned to the front of my hospital bed. “What do you have to say for yourself? Honestly?”

I thought for a moment, unsure of what to say. I could really not think of anything, I couldn’t even remember what I had for breakfast. My memory was wiped clean, whatever I drank must have hit me hard. I thought and thought, until I realised something.

“Mum… I’m not wearing a bra.” I looked down and sure enough I was in that hideous hospital nightgown, the one with the open flap at the back.

Harry began to giggle and tried to hold his laughter in but he kept slapping and grabbing his knee. Mum looked like Mt Vesuvius, almost ready to explode, literally. She turned to Harry, finished with me obviously her body language said it all.

“And you!” She pointed down at him, her finger shaking. “Who do you think you are?!”

Harry stopped giggling immediately and regained his composure. He flicked his hair out of his eyes and with a puff, he turned towards mum with the coolest most professional look that he could. I had never seen this side of Harry before but he looked so believable and trained I didn’t even know if I recognised him.

Mums eyes widened and her mouth gaped open like a goldfish. She let out a gasp which sounded more like a combination of a balloons air slowly being squeezed out and sprinkler in a drought. Her hand fell straight to her side and she was stuck. She did not even blink and I wondered how her eyes coped without their refreshments. Harry didn’t seem surprised at this reaction; in fact, he just sat there and smiled at her. It was like she had seen a ghost.

The door slammed open once again and instead of Dr.Puerto, Zack plodded into the room with hunched shoulders, closely followed by V who didn’t even look up from her phone. The nurse from before closed the door with a forced smile before rolling her eyes just before it shut.

Zack walked over to mums side before he realised what she was looking at. His face brightened up. “Hey Harry!”

V’s head shot up from her phone and she stared directly at Harry. The noise that came out of V was not human. The ear piercing sound shook the windows and a pen actually rolled off my bedside table. Before I knew it, her phone had fallen on the floor and she ran to Harry, flailing her arms everywhere like he was the last man on earth. Harry stood up and backed away before V tripped on the chair and fell onto my bed, accidently pressing a button on one of those remotes and jerking me upwards before she fell onto the floor.

The blanket pulled on my stomach and I felt as if all the drugs that were put into my body were going to come flying out because of the impact. V was on the floor shaking like she was in some sort of cardiac arrest while Harry bent down to help her up. Mum seemed to have regained some sort of composure and Zack was just staring at V like she was some sort of psychopath.

Zack took my bed remote and returned me back to my original position. That little manoeuvre made my body ache even worse, my back felt like it had been cracked into 2 different pieces. Harry heaved V onto his old seat, she gripped his shirt tightly whilst digging her nails into his shoulder. She looked up at him and kept muttering things like “Is this real life?”, “Am I on drugs..?” He turned to me apologetically and beckoned Zack to come and revive V from her trance.

Something felt wrong, I tasted it somehow in my mouth. Zack slapped V in the face once and she stiffened up, still keeping her eyes on Harry. Mum was still gapping at all of us but some sense was also slapped back into her when Harry started speaking.

“I’m Harry.”

V shot up with excitement. “Oh we know who you are, Harry Styles!” She squealed once again

How did she know?! I was fairly certain that they had never met Harry in their eyes let alone lay eyes on him.

Harry nodded at V and then turned back to mum. “Sorry to inconvenience you Mrs Garrot.” He stepped over V’s legs and held out a hand to mum for her to shake but she refused.

“Inconvenience? You call this an inconvenience?” She gestured to me lying in my bed. “This is more than that. My daughter is lying in hospital I suppose because of YOU. Who do you think you are?”

I’m Har- He began again but mum cut him off.

“Do you think, that just because you are some big shot celebrity that it’s OK to take a 15 year old girl to a night club party?!” She spat.

His eye twitched and he slowly turned to me. “You’re 15? But… y-your facebook says you were born in 1995…”

My stomach dropped, dropped into a hole and went all the way to China. “You’re famous..?”

V rammed herself between me and Harry, arms crossed and foot stamped down. “Hold up! Harry Styles took Matilda to his party last night?! Those photos were all over twitter!”

I grabbed my pillow from behind my head and threw it at V as hard as I could manage. “SHUT UP VERONIQUE. DO YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE?” Tears began to form in my eyes, but the tears felt like acid.

Harry looked deflated and white, his hands shaking slightly. He looked around at all of us before turning to me, the look was so distant as if he were looking at me from 2 kilometres away. “B-but… I’m Tilly’s boyfriend… She can’t be 15…”

Mum and V simultaneous whispered: “What.”

The situation felt like a Mexican soap opera. So much was happening in such a small time. I had only woken up 10 minutes before and now it felt like my whole life was unravelling as if it were a thread being pulled from a jumper.

“Oh no no no!” Mum jabbed her finger into Harry’s chest, forcing him back. “I will have none of this” She pointed to the both of us. “Whatever this is. I’ve heard and read enough about you in the media to know that you are no good, especially for my daughter. This, must stop right now. Even if you had never gotten her into this horrible situation I would never even let you near my daughter.”

V chocked in the background, her arms crossed over her chest standing next to mum and eyeing me every few seconds with dirty looks. She looked extremely displeased and I even saw a bit of abhorrence in her eyes.

“So you believe everything you hear do you?” Harry regained his confidence and stood taller and broader than before.

Mum ignored this with a sour look and continued. “I don’t know where you two met nor do I want to know. I’m not going to press charges for what you have done by taking advantage of a minor, but what I am going to do is turn you around and you are going to head straight out that door and never look back. I don’t want you ever contacting my daughter again, not through anything or anyone which includes your assistants or posse or whoever it is that you’ve got whipping your arse for you. You will go on with your boy band life and if I find out that you communicated with her I will personally come and find you. I’ve never liked your band, I don’t know what all those teens are thinking about but you will listen to me. Now have I made myself clear?”

Zack shot up. “Mum, NO! Don’t do this.”

V tugged on Zack’s sleeve, obviously not impressed. Mum gave Zack a sour look. “Be quiet Zachariah. Your opinion is not wanted in this conversation.”

Harry looked at me with a pleadingly. “Tilly… Please give me a chance to explain.”

My head was spinning and I could hear my heart beating faster. I didn’t know what to think, nothing made sense to me. Something inside of me had died… or at least passed out. I wanted to give him a a chance to explain himself so badly but I just didn’t have the energy for any more surprises.

“I don’t know who you are…” I instantly regretted the words that slipped out of my mouth because Harry’s reaction broke my heart.

His eyes shrunk to the size of small shells, his lips shrivelled like he had eaten something extremely sour and he his skin looked completely transparent. Mum walked over to my bedside and sat on the edge, holding my hand and stroking my hair with her other. She whispered something as she looked down on me but not loud enough for me to hear, then she bent down and kissed me on the forehead before turning back to Harry who just stood there with a blank expression.

“I think you should leave.” Her voice was as blank as Harry’s face but her actions spoke louder than words.

Slowly, Harry began backing away with his head down and he slipped his hands in the pockets of his cargo shorts. With mums prying eyes on him, it was literally the walk of shame. The nurse looked through the door window and realised that Harry was about to leave so she opened the door for him and before he walked out, Harry took one long last look at me, the eyes of a lover, before he walked out of the door.

Zack shook V off before giving those two bitter stares, then disappearing behind the door, swiftly running after Harry.

I don’t think I could ever forget that look. I was broken-hearted enough and I really didn’t deserve to see that. My whole world had caved in in the space of 4 hours.  Not only had I gotten drugged, driven to hospital and found out that my supposed boyfriend was lying to me this whole time, but it felt like I had lost my mum to the wolves. She was a killer with the heart of stone and I had betrayed her trust and not only embarrassed myself but her too.

This was like a scene I saw in a movie once. Almost identical, it was quite scary. It didn’t feel real, was I in a dream? The whole holiday was a dream and I would soon wake up to the sound of my alarm clock in my bed back at home, rain drizzling outside.

My depressing thoughts were interrupted by V’s subtle cough. Mum and I both flicked our heads up at her. She looked taken aback by the sudden interest in her but she awkwardly pointed towards the hospital door. “Um well I’m just going to get a photo while I can. This is a once in a life time opportunity!” She grinned and sprinted out the door.

Mum shot up. “VERONIQUE YOU COME BACK THIS INSTANT!” She ran to the edge of the door and peered down the hallway before frowning and shaking her head. You could just make out V’s shouting in the distance. Harry wait up!! I LOVE YOU!!

My life was already over. I felt no need to continue. I suppose that this was my welcome to real teenage hood. Lying in the sterilised bed, a fake plant in the corner of my room and the striking lights above, was that what it was like to live in a nursing home? That’s where many people went when they’re lives were on their last stretch.

Mum walked back and stood at the side of my bed. Somehow she managed to have a smile on her face. “Don’t worry Matilda. I forgive you.” She bent down and tried to kiss me on the forehead again before I turned away. “Mummy loves you.” Third-person.

I knew that she loved me but that wasn’t enough at the time. “Mum… I just need to be alone right now.” I didn’t even look her in the eye.

“But…” She began to protest but I shook my head. “Just leave, please…”

I closed my eyes and I could feel her just staring at me before she turned around and walked out of the room, turning off the light and closing the door quietly behind her. I couldn’t have stood to look her in eye, it was just too painful. Usually things made so much more sense when you’re about to fall asleep, so many things running through your mind and it just so much easier. But just then, it just made things seem worse.

I dramatically looked out the window, as I always did when I was upset. Lights from the apartment and high rises which faced the hospital illuminated me this time, but they weren’t striking but they were rather beautiful. I could catch a glimpse of the sea quite a bit away but I could see enough to see the moon reflecting in different shades across the water.

My dad always said to me when I was down, “Don’t cry and keep your head held high.” But there were a few problems with his theory and it didn’t always work. One, I could barely feel my head and what I could feel felt like it was up in the clouds and two, it was almost impossible for a teenage girl to cry when her life had just been ruined.  

So many times I had rushed into my room, slammed the door and cried into my pillow, screaming that my life was over after I would have an argument with V or my mum but those were just insignificant. This time it was real, it was real and it slapped me hard in the face. How could I have been so stupid to trust a guy I had only met? How could I have been so stupid to have agreed to gone out with him and participated in that party?

My eyes were slowly closing as much as I wanted to stay up and figure my life out, my body thought otherwise. I looked down at my arm to where my hospital tag was wrapped around sighing to myself and reminding myself that I was actually in hospital and I couldn’t just walk out the door if I wanted to escape everything. The last thing I saw was one of the string bracelets that Harry usually wore, strapped around wrist.

How could I have been so stupid to have fallen in love?

Author's Note

sorry towards the end it got a bit shitty