Storms Passing Through

It's wet here, and has been for days. It is supposed to continue for several more. I just thought I 'd use it to my creative advantage....

A Storm is Passing Through…

 

Liquid life pours and pools

Falls and flails amid rattles and fools

Streams of aqua flow downhill

Dripping, slipping, shallow on sluice

Blowing, howling, drip drop drip

Erodes the soil, grass loses its grip

Ping, pong, drip, ting, tong

sings the rhythmic nighttime song

drips pop on the sidewalks

shutters bang against the walls

winds batter concrete doorsteps

branches sway their way along

Storm is passing through this night

Time to stay close to home

keep dry and out of sight

listening to the lulling

harmony of life’s precious light

 

Bright Ocean Star; April 14, 2015

 

Author's Note

This one came to me in pieces today. I didn't have my notebook, so I tried my best to remember each piece as it came. :)

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked your description of the storm.
"Time to stay close to home
keep dry and out of sight
listening to the lulling
harmony of life’s precious light"
I liked the storm. Time for good book or writing. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Bright Ocean Star]

Thank you for checking them out. I'd almost forgotten about this little one. I appreciate you dropping in and leaving such a kind review.

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[MomzillaNC]

Very cool onomatopoetic composition

[Bright Ocean Star]

Thank you, MamaZ...so happy you enjoyed it. :)

[MomzillaNC]

yvw :D

[An owl on the moon]

Such a beautiful tenderness to your words... like a soft rain... that music it creates.. How you capture that so well with your thoughts... the sighing emotions... feeling this moment even now... And realizing storms do pass through... and sunlight comes again.

[Bright Ocean Star]

Thank you, C. I'm honored you stopped by to read this one and leave such a kind review. You've just made my night very happy, indeed! :) Thanks again.

[Lyn Anderson]

I really like this one. Very fun and playful, with a delightful rhythm. I might take the a out of the line storms a passing, but that may just be personal preference.

[Bright Ocean Star]

You're right. It sounds better without it. Thank you for stopping and leaving this helpful comment. It is always good to see you here. :) Hope you are well and writing as usual. I haven't been on a whole lot lately. :(

[Lyn Anderson]

Yes I just put up four today -- two of them collections. I am putting off taxes again, lol.

[Fran Marie]

You pieced this together really well...great alliteration used within ..been raining just about everyday here also..I love the rain, but I am so ready for some sunshine..nice work Anne..

[Bright Ocean Star]

Thank you, Fran. I'm happy you enjoyed this one. I was so happy that my muse gave me the lines like in the old days. I haven't been given any lines in my head for a long time...:) So happy you stopped by. :)

[Fran Marie]

You're so welcome

[rubie]

"Liquid life"....so wonderfully descriptive

Perfect alliteration and internal rhyme to create the feeling in the reader's mind.

Superbly done!

[Bright Ocean Star]

Thank you, Rubie! I like playing with the texture of words. It's like verbal sewing pieces of fabric together, but much easier. I don't have to worry about the bloody bobbin getting stuck! Ha-ha! :)

[icelandicblue]

You captured the rain beautifully. I love the lolling hypnotic sounds of your onomatopoeias. They are fabulous. Rain can be so lyrical even when it lasts for days. Your words move gracefully as the rain dances all around you.

[Bright Ocean Star]

Thank you, Ice! I always love to read your comments. It's nice that you dropped in to read this one. God bless you.:)

[s y e]

Woot woot! I am so happy I get to read you again, I have missed you.
This is great, it's funny where out inspiration comes from, isn't it?
I love storms and bad weather but when the sun comes out here, it's truly superb and makes such a difference to people's day!

[Bright Ocean Star]

I'm happy you liked this one, Noodlehead. It has been quite awhile since words just popped into my head for no particular reason. I love it when that happens! Happy, happy, happy you are back to read my dribbles! :)

[Einstein Noodle]

i love the contrast of your closing .. i expected the storm to remain .. huddling behind closed shutters in a storm is at once comforting and terrifying .. the home may blow down .. breathing relief that this one did not
E.

[Bright Ocean Star]

Yesterday and the day before, it was a soft, slow kind of rain. It just continues to fall. The grass is loving it; it's just growing and growing, not listening to my mental objections at all. I'm quite frustrated by the whole thing. I've become a bit obsessive about having my lawn neat, and with it raining constantly for about 10 days, there has been no time or opportunity to get my mower out. :(

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha! i so here that Bright one!! and then the sun comes out but the grass is still too wet so all day it grows three times as fast aaaaaaaaaargh! ;}

[Bright Ocean Star]

precisely. It's becoming a royal pain in the butt! :)

[NoelHC]

Don't you just hate it when those snippets of ideas and concepts occur to you, and you have to try remember then.
I enjoyed the feel of the sounds in this one, it made me feel like I experienced the weather with you.
Well done.

[Bright Ocean Star]

Thank you, Noel. I appreciate you dropping by to leave your supportive comments. You never fail to be a positive force around here...:)