Scared to Love

I can’t imagine how it must feel to have someone only for myself.

The way his mouth would turn into a smile every time he saw me,

Or how his mouth would pronounce my name in a million different ways with the numerous nickname he gives me,

How his lips would softly touch all of the deepest parts of my body,

And as they touched something, he would make it beautiful once again. 

Perhaps also his eyes how they would glisten every time we make eye contact,

As if all that he saw in me was an endless sky full of starts.

How they can hold millions of memories in them,

Like seeing me in my best by being so unbelievable energetic and happy, 

Or also at my worst where the tears just wouldn’t stop from coming 

out. 

Maybe also his arms, how they could hold me and shield me against evil,

Each time holding me more close to him so we became one body and heart.

How I can hold his hand and feel his thumb slightly rub against my skin,

Up and down my hand while we would also trace the invisible patterns our skin has. 

How his feet can walk millions and millions of miles just to see me,

And never get tired because he knows that each step he takes, would be one close to me. 

The numerous places we would’ve walked together,

As we were moving thorough time but didn’t feel it passing by. 

Also the way his heart can guard forever the memory of me without letting anymore touch it.

The way it produces millions of different feelings and emotions,

And always expresses them to me without thinking twice,

 Which would make me feel as if mine just grew twice it’s original size.

But what if I’m scared to love?

To know that as I’m kissing him,

 Not only could he be thinking about other girls,

 But also how many of them have actually touched his lips,

And then pronounced “I love you” to all of them. 

Thinking to myself every time that we locked eyes,

How many other girls he has seen the same way he looks at me,

Thinking and comparing each of them to me,

And picturing how his eyes lit differently with them then with me. 

Or how with his arms he helped scare away the demons of someone else, 

And then he would wipe away the tears from her eyes,

Just as he would do the same for me but, would it be with the same 

amount of love?

Knowing that his feet have sprinted o the rescue of hundreds,

How they would slowly accompany them when they were too weak to run or even walk,

And him being there every step of the way.

But the there is one thing that could keep me sleepless each night.

The things his heart has felt for the girls before me,

Knowing that he still holds a space for each of them inside of it,

And how he might stop and think every once in a while how I might just be another one of them…

The question, “is this really love ?” and not knowing the answer could take forever for someone to figure out.