No Bus Stop

I don't feel well

I think I want to f**k up my life

I want to cry all the time

Shut the door, leave it all behind

I have to cry for a while

Sometimes I'm not even sure why

Nothing makes me cry

Or perhaps too many things just rise

I have so much work to do on myself

Or perhaps not enough hands

I want to give up sometimes

Can you believe me when I say it?

Sometimes I wish harm on myself but then regret it

I feel so much guilt for the grapes I haven't turned to wine

I cook salmon teriyaki every Saturday night

I do it so well, learned it all on TikTok,

scrolling every night like a newspaper

And I know I have this small gift for it all

To turn ingredients into a sauce

And I know I am good to people

Turning my kindness on 

even when the evil smells too foul to fight 

let alone not feel nauseous

But I want to give up sometimes

Can you believe you could love yourself and still neglect yourself?

Sometimes I wonder if I just live in delusion

A fugitive that runs for cover 

only nobody's ever chasing her

And I know I wish I was chased after

shile all the while I wish I could be a ghost, 

watching lovers

I write poems everyday

I don't feel so well

I want to f**k up my life 

so instead I write 

so I don't feel so insane

A goth girl with flowers in her skull roaming cemetaries for friends

I was hungry, I still am

for flesh, for wonder

But I know I am no good

Nor at writing, nor at cooking, nor at living

Can you believe it's just how I feel sometimes?

And I know I am good

I have the soul of sunshine

The fear of Judas

I was born waiting at a crossroad

Always hoping somehow, it changes 

and change never comes on time

You have to chase it all the time

There are no bus stops

Reviews

[Re-Pete]

wow, so telling and introspective. disturbingly well said. we have to fight to stay in the light and the positives of ourselves.