I Ignore Myself

I ignore myself
My reflection nauseates me
The smell permeates the walls of the bathroom
and I vomit
I avoid myself
When I’m handed a pistol
I take it and shoot aimlessly
The entire wall of my kitchen is riddled with bullet holes
It's as if I go to war
but there's no enemy
I choose to ignore myself
When I’m served a plate of worms
I eat it and never vomit
My fridge is filled with them
I order more as time runs out
And when the familiar worms crawl out of my ears
and hop onto the street
starting their own journey
I just think to myself: Damn
They are free
They live within themselves
following the path of their soul's song
and sentimental destiny
Damn
Why do I ignore myself