Me

Me

A Poem by Lana

I sculpted my words so that they sound nicer
I thought I should look pretty when I confess my murder
And still, the lights from the window are blinding
I sit in the car watching,
Never daring to get out of it
And knock on the door of a semi-stranger
(Semi-friendship; a relation with no real definition)
And confess my murder.
I eroded the metal of my words;
There are tiny brownish-red spots now.
I want to cry.
I feel a big bowl of time passing me by,
And I eat it and eat it and eat it.
I am starving for what is not mine.
I look down, and I have no intestines,
No hunger for time.
I don't chase it; I don't regret it.
Now people ask me, but do you search for it?
I grind my teeth all day,
I bite my nails, and I never talk to semi-friends.
What is the point? Where is my shame?
I am alone, and I'm young and pretty.
This little voice inside me sometimes says to me,
Go on, go and live!
No, I don't search for it 
Time, life, space
They elude me.
I always sit in my car and watch the lights from the windows,
From the kitchens of people
Who have a warm meal and people to share it with.
And I knock.
I knock when it's a stranger,
And I sculpt my words for them.
Only lately, the metal is damaged.
It's not as sharp, as brilliant and silver as it used to be.
I have lost my will.
I switch to wood.
You could refer to my words as carpentry.
I let go of the decorative;
I don't really sculpt anymore.
I just cut the wood in half.
I let my finger bleed,
And it's all for me.
Me.
I cut it all for me.

© 2024 Lana


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Added on August 26, 2024
Last Updated on August 26, 2024
Tags: love, life, fear, death, money, society