The lucky ones

It seemed to be love at first sight

You looked into my eyes

And I didn't think much of it

I am under the spell of remnants of bullying

From all the boys who told me I can't do s**t

That I am just too ugly

I wanted you so badly

I thought it was just too easy

To look at you from afar

And believe that one day I could afford it

I'd gain riches inside of me

Worth a million bucks that I could spend in

Making you believe that you should be with me

Only you weren't a puzzle I couldn't solve

You really wanted me

Me, the ugly unlucky empty jewellery box

With nothing shining in it

I couldn't believe my eyes 

My heart was crying

Until everything was dying

The fire was extinguised as fast as it began 

"No, you cannot be happy" 

That's what it said to me

You kept touching me 

My crushed soul couldn't deal with it

I am part of the billions of souls

Who do not deserve it

I thought, he has Pacino's eyes

But no God in him

He couldn't be the father of my child

Even if my thought process went too far about it

I just felt nothing

We all want love

Oh but not me

I do not deserve it

That's what it told me

I always daydreamed about us walking somewhere in Italy

Maybe Florence or somewhere in Sicily

Holding hands, feeling your warm embrace

Little things that are so foreign to me

I knew it could someday be real

But then the evening comes 

And the sun is no longer smiling

It is dying and transforming

Into a dusty star that is decaying

And I ask the universe 

Please, do I deserve this?

And it always tells me no

I do not deserve it

That's what it told me

I am only just obeying

No love for the crushed souls

Only love for the lucky ones

Reviews

[JMaster1]

Your poems full with pain but longing to learn what love really is