Skin And...

Eh

Touch me
And peel this skin
From bone
I don't know why
I hold onto
This hate
It's as much
My fault
As yours
Yet I can't let go this
Guilt in my
Skin and bone

Author's Note

Eh

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful use of thoughts and words. To peel away fake skin and face. What would we see? I liked the ending to the amazing poetry my friend.
Coyote

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you very much

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Cassie]

Hate is more like a disease...it tugs so bad at heart and you have brought this out so well.

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you, i appreciate that!

[Philip Muls]

Reaching out to another to help you deal with hate and pain. Very powerful.

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you very much

[Rasha Bear]

I feel like this poem is about a rebirth of sorts but not quite being able to reach the end result that you needed. Very well written

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to read and leave a review

[Shannon]

Interesting. In a few short lines you have owned the anger, acknowledged the hypocrisy (I think we all have this in us) and expressed the pain. Well conceived.

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you very much, I appreciate that

[Lost, n'MT]

This type of style can be very tricky, and personally has driven me away from trying, although I wish to exploring more writing styles. I feel there's something missing between "As yours" and "I can't let go". I feel there's a stanza of pain absent from bridging the beginning to the end. However, there's still much to be appreciated from this. For instance;

"And peel this skin
From bone"

Quite the imagery expressed, as it accurately transports the mental pain and agony into an realistic physical

Quite the imagery expressed, as it accurately transports the mental pain and agony into an equivalent physical comparison. One can relate to rather having there skin physically ripped off to rather endure the daily and nightly pain the mental anguish that can be torturous.

And towards the end,

"Yet I can't let go (of?) this (hate)
Guilt in my
Skin and bone"

It's baffling how we seemingly "choose" to hold to because we "simply" do not know how to let go or are just unable to.

Both hate and guilt are vicious creatures. Do you feel writing feeds into them fueling the fire, or do you feel it helps lessen the flame? For me, it's the more the latter. I hope it's the same for you.

Though I can see you're not satisfied with this piece, I hope it doesn't discourage you. I still enjoyed the good that I found and understand and relate to the message from within. I also dig the title, and the imagery of flesh ripped to the bone leaves a lasting impression. That my friend, deserves more than "eh", but I am confident you will write more piecing to your liking.

Grammatical note: I assume you had meant for "let go OF this" instead of "let go this"?

[LapseOfMind]

Yes indeed, I forgot 'of' lol most the time, writing helps me to heal so it definitely lessens the flame. I definitely felt this had a lot more to it but decided to stop and walk away from it. Thank you for reading and reviewing

[Lost, n'MT]

I tend to do the opposite where I write "of of" or "the the", lol.

That's what I figured, I tend to the opposite where I do "of of" or "the the", lol. I can also relate to walking away from a piece as it doesn't seem to work out when it's forced. Very glad to heal writing helps you heal as well. You're welcome as always.

[Jackie]

Hmm....interesting. Thought provoking to me

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you, I'm glad it provoked thought. My job is done