Tinsel And Tassles

A Poem by LapseOfMind

Everyone knows one.

Majestic counterfeit King
Plastic crown upon thy brow
Lording over no one
Yet your kingdom grows somehow
Regal impersonator
With no man to work your land
Imposter on the throne
Childs scepter in your hand
No court or noble men
To help in this charade
No queen seated at your side
And yet still you masquerade

© 2016 LapseOfMind

Author's Note

I feel this could've continued but I lost interest

My Review

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Reviews

Coyote Poetry

Had the feel of ancient times. Could have possibilities? You create chain of command and false people. Thank you for sharing your words and poetry.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago

8 Years Ago

Thank you for taking the time to read and leave a review

8 Years Ago

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

Lost, n'MT

My reaction - The power and validation of feeling at the top of the world... may invoke the most emptiness one can experience, when there is nobody left to share nor create the memories in the room at the top of the world. Experiences and memories are meant to be shared. It can bring upon such pain that it leaves one feeling like a helpless child in a lonely world, without trust. It goes beyond those who seek fortune and power in the guise of "doing it for one's family" when there is no family to be found at the top. No significant other, no children, no friends. It reminds me of Johnny's Cash's cover version of, "Hurt". The line in that song, "You can have it all, my empire of dirt. I will make you fall, I will make you hurt". I saw all of the above in my mind as I read this piece.

I enjoy the style of which you wrote this, and the substance within it. It doesn't feel complete in some ways, but it hit every emotion it sought it to reach.

Some lines I really enjoyed and really stood out;
"Lording over no one "
"Childs scepter in your hand "

But it's the last four lines that really stands out and sums up this piece. It makes me think you were right in not continuing to write anymore after those four lines;

"No court or noble men
To help in this charade
No queen seated at your side
And yet still you masquerade "

You can't follow that. You can try to follow that, but I am not sure I'd be able to fully process after that stanza. If you do wish to add on to this, I recommend leaving that as the final four lines as it the knockout blow that expands the mind and stabs right through the heart.

Some suggestions if I may;
Thank you for requesting me to read this piece, I continue to marvel at how you're able to capture so much in 12 lines, 56 words. Yet I read this, and yet it has my mind wandering with the reaction above. Your flow and rhyme scheme continues to be one of my favorites. I liked this, and thank you for helping me forget my thoughts and feelings if only for a few moments. I get lost in your writings, and I enjoy it.

The only things I would consider changing or recommending would be a different title. For some reason, "Tinsel And Tassles" doesn't feel appropriate for this piece.

Also, have you ever considered adding pictures for your poems? For instance, the image I have for this one is a melting crown. I am not sure if you're familiar with the famous art piece "Persistence of Memory" which has a melting clock for a lack of a better description. I have a similar vision in my mind as I read this, but a huge gold crown and/or throne melting similar to the clock. I did some searches, but I cannot find an images that resembles what I'm visualizing in my mind. However, I realize you don't use pictures, and I totally understand if you don't see the point or don't care, I personally look at the pictures as "cover" to my poems. For instance, your profile picture has an impact on me every time I see it, and I think it would have been some of my poems as well as yours. Just a suggestion if you ever decide to start using pictures.

As for your title, I'd be curious to know what prompted you to choose it if you wish to share. In my opinion, my titles are very hit or miss, but I feel they're almost as meaningful as the poems. The writing, the title, potential picture... I feel it just adds on to the piece. Just my two cents though.

Another solid poem that I thoroughly appreciate and admire.

Posted 8 Years Ago

I enjoy the style of which you wrote this, and the substance within it. It doesn't feel complete in some ways, but it hit every emotion it sought it to reach.

Some lines I really enjoyed and really stood out;
"Lording over no one "
"Childs scepter in your hand "

But it's the last four lines that really stands out and sums up this piece. It makes me think you were right in not continuing to write anymore after those four lines;

"No court or noble men
To help in this charade
No queen seated at your side
And yet still you masquerade "

You can't follow that. You can try to follow that, but I am not sure I'd be able to fully process after that stanza. If you do wish to add on to this, I recommend leaving that as the final four lines as it the knockout blow that expands the mind and stabs right through the heart.

Some suggestions if I may; 
Thank you for requesting me to read this piece, I continue to marvel at how you're able to capture so much in 12 lines, 56 words. Yet I read this, and yet it has my mind wandering with the reaction above. Your flow and rhyme scheme continues to be one of my favorites. I liked this, and thank you for helping me forget my thoughts and feelings if only for a few moments. I get lost in your writings, and I enjoy it.

The only things I would consider changing or recommending would be a different title. For some reason, "Tinsel And Tassles" doesn't feel appropriate for this piece.

Also, have you ever considered adding pictures for your poems? For instance, the image I have for this one is a melting crown. I am not sure if you're familiar with the famous art piece "Persistence of Memory" which has a melting clock for a lack of a better description. I have a similar vision in my mind as I read this, but a huge gold crown and/or throne melting similar to the clock. I did some searches, but I cannot find an images that resembles what I'm visualizing in my mind. However, I realize you don't use pictures, and I totally understand if you don't see the point or don't care, I personally look at the pictures as "cover" to my poems. For instance, your profile picture has an impact on me every time I see it, and I think it would have been some of my poems as well as yours. Just a suggestion if you ever decide to start using pictures.

As for your title, I'd be curious to know what prompted you to choose it if you wish to share. In my opinion, my titles are very hit or miss, but I feel they're almost as meaningful as the poems. The writing, the title, potential picture... I feel it just adds on to the piece. Just my two cents though.

Another solid poem that I thoroughly appreciate and admire.

Rating /100

8 Years Ago

As always, thank you very much for reading, reviewing and your kind words. I truly do appreciate it,.. read more

8 Years Ago

You're very welcome, and thank you for sharing this and requesting when you did. I definitely relate.. read moreYou're very welcome, and thank you for sharing this and requesting when you did. I definitely relate to what you mean, as I just responded to your comment from earlier which truly meant a lot. Thank you.

There's nothing wrong with the title on the surface, I just felt as if it were meant for a different piece. However, I would never recommend going against your first words unless it didn't feel right for you personally. I have an issue offering feedback and critique, as I feel the writer's uniqueness should never be altered. Obviously typos, grammatical errors, and mechanical issues such as that would be something I would suggest or inform you of. Though, I cannot recall seeing any of those issues in your pieces, so hence the little feedback I've given. Not to mention, I really enjoy your poems and cannot think of any I'd wish for you to change or alter, unless it were prompted by your thoughts and beliefs.

I love pictures too as you probably would have assumed. That sounds wonderful. I have no artistic abilities in regards to pictures or drawing art, so I use google images with no intentions of ever publishing my writings. Though I could easily replace every picture with something better if necessary. Does this blog still exist per chance? And if so, would you be willing to share? That really impressive though, and would enjoy to see past or potential future pictures of your creation. May I ask how you came across your current profile picture? I think it's ideal.

And of course I have a bad habit or responding before reading everything, so I see that your computer died. Damn, I know that feeling. This site crashed back in 2009 or 2010, and I lost a lot of writings that I didn't have back-up copies of, so I can certainty understand your frustration and inevitable dejection. Having said, I hope you one day re-consider. It's a shame to miss out on what has been lost, but it'd be a bigger shame to miss out on what will never be.

You're welcome, and I appreciate that. Your poems bring out a raw emotion and thoughts inside me that it doesn't even feel review per se. And yet I'm still amazed at how you're able to evoke said emotions and thoughts in just a handful of stanzas. You have a gift, and I feel grateful to have stumbled upon profile and writings at this stage in time. Thank you for continuing to share.