Moment

You know, a poem about a thing or something

In this moment
My soul holds breathless
Grasping at your
Wounds
Dry and desolate
Your alphabet speaks
And I'm left to
Assume
These fault lines
That crack, extend
To your smile
And not a moment too
Soon
So, alone is to the left
While I watch the right
And empty are the sounds in this
Room

Reviews

[Lost, n'MT]

You continue to amaze me... Loved this, thank you.

[LapseOfMind]

Not one of my best pieces but emotions that needed out. Thank you again

[Coyote Poetry]

Nice use of thoughts in the poem. Left the reader with thoughts and visions. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you very much :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my friend.

[J3ssInJupit3r]

First: I love the second line "my soul holds breathless" I don't know what is so romantically beautiful about that line but it stuck when I read it. I feel like maybe you ended this one too soon though. I feel like you could extend it and keep going, make it a little longer. Just a suggestion, something I saw, other than that I loved this poem. Seriously, keep up the good work. I love reading your pieces. :)

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you, I'm glad that you enjoy my work. I write as a form of therapy. I definitely could have kept going but most the time I stop because the feeling goes away. Once it's gone I stop so that it doesn't become contrived. I prefer it to be as raw as possible. Thank you again for reading and reviewing

[McBear]

Very good feelings expression and smoothness. Well done.

Small critique;

For the line:
"So, alone is to the left While I watch the right"
For some reason, this seemed a little confusing to me.
Watch what to the right?
What is the right?

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you very much. To the right is her. Not being alone. Alone is to the left, where I am left. Kind of a weak play on words if you will

[Rashi Jain]

Amazing bag of feelings is what I call your this writing. Wonderful.

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you, it felt good to get it out