Muse

A poem dedicated to my muse. Where have you gone my friend?

I barely remember

the pain that came before

your fake-smiled whispers

your touch of skin and bone

We woke in frozen embers

time stood and left alone

I begged for punctured blisters

all you gave was stone

your teeth were yellowed slowly

my mind has long left home

dusted eyes reflected

and I've been left to roam

Author's Note

As I sit and try and write my short stories, my muse and I struggle to find common ground. I dedicate this poem to her.

Reviews

[Jack...]

Very well done my friend. I see the poet is coming out of you in a wonderful way. This piece, though sad is brilliantly written. Very nice.

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you very much. Sometimes these things practically write themselves

[Dana Alsamsam]

this is a hard thing to cope with...it's like breaking up with someone almost when someone just no longer inspires you the way that they used to. i feel your pain. my favorite lines were:
"We woke in frozen embers
time stood and left alone
I begged for punctured blisters
all you gave was stone"
they were very thought provoking! i usually don't like rhyming too much, but you pulled it off wonderfully. great job!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Oh, I have lost my muse before...and I've written about it in much the same painful and forlorn way. Such an emotional write, and I think more emotional when read by another poet who has experienced this "loss". Your words are strong and beautifully tragic. Well done!

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you, I appreciate it =) I'm hoping that with this poem, my muse will be coaxed back lol

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I have hoped the same thing before as well...sometimes it works, we must be hopeful :)

[LapseOfMind]

Always be hopeful, a positive attitude works better than not. Imagine if we all just gave up and weren't hopeful...damn....life would be lame.

[Cool Handless Luke]

We woke in frozen embers
time stood and left alone
I begged for punctured blisters
all you gave was stone

that's pretty good stuff right there. the whole poem was good but those lines jumped out at me for some reason. i still think you should right more poetry. this is good work lapse. thanks for sharing it. jeff

[LapseOfMind]

It was my pleasure and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm hoping my muse enjoys it too and comes back fully to help me write. I'll post my poetry as I slowly allow myself too. My poems show far too much of myself than I'm comfortable with so I have to let them out slowly lol

[Cool Handless Luke]

i understand you completely. and that's what i like about your work. to me, the greatest poetry is from a poet being real. about sharing the pain, the heartache, the joy and fear...all of it, even to the point that it makes them vulnerable. ripping a page out of your heart and soul and offering it up for the reader to consume your words - that is real poetry to me. that's beautiful even in its darkness.

[LapseOfMind]

Beautiful yet painful..scary. When I do allow myself to write poetry(this poem I wrote and posted directly so it's still young), I find myself almost regretting it as its finished. I think to myself that I've screwed up by letting anything out. Like its going to come back and attack, such as the original emotions have already done. Crazy thing, I'm pretty solid on the outside, you'd never know I had any emotion but happiness...

[Cool Handless Luke]

when i first started sharing my work i had so many friends and relatives scared for me. they were shocked. so i get what you are saying. you have to do what's best for you. this can be therapeutic and an outlet for you to vent and say things you couldn't otherwise say. but like you say, you are giving them life here and it's more palpable to fear them now than if you had never wrote them. at any rate, i appreciate your sharing them for whatever that's worth to you. and even if you don't share them, i hope you are still able to write them down.

[LapseOfMind]

Well, thank you for your support in my writing. I'll continue to write and when poetry demands to be written, as it often does, I'll let it out. It'll probably help so I don't take my emotions out on other people lol

[Cool Handless Luke]

Yeah, that can be a good thing!

[trainwreck]

This is very sweet and painful. It feels impossible to lose our inspiration, but little by little, it gets better. I promise.

[LapseOfMind]

She's been fighting me but slowly returning. Coming off of a long bout of writers block lol

[trainwreck]

that's good. :) I'm glad you're back.

[LapseOfMind]

Thanks, me too =) I'm not much of a poet so don't expect too much from me there, I lean more towards short stories. Poems usually pull pain from me...I try and avoid that.

[trainwreck]

Short stories are fun as well! Feel free to send me those; I'm usually pretty slow with read requests but I get around to them whenever I can.

[LapseOfMind]

I feel bad sending read requests out as I currently have 27 I have to answer(I just read 14 yesterday and all of a sudden there is 27) but I did send one out the other day for a story I wrote a while back but just posted. I aim to be a career novel author(is that even the correct way to say that??) but I have a lot of learning and practice to do.

[trainwreck]

I guess that spelling works. I was off the site for almost a year so I have 740 or something.... it's crazy.

[LapseOfMind]

Oh damn...thats quite a bit! lol

[trainwreck]

Yeah, I'll get through them all eventually. :) http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/heidi-turner/670765/
there's a book I'm working on, the chapters are fairly short though, if you'd like to check it out.

[LapseOfMind]

Cool, I'll check it out, probably slowly over a time. A chapter a day or so. I enjoy reading other peoples stories, it helps me to understand the different ways of writing and whats possible

[trainwreck]

That works for me! If you have any pieces of advice or questions for clarification, let me know.

[LapseOfMind]

Well, if you don't mind, I can leave brutally honest reviews as I go through. Often times my reviews are more technical than anything, focusing mainly on sentence structure and punctuation but I also like to leave my opinion on how the story is progressing(does it hold my attention? are you sentences choppy? is the story driving or being sluggish).

[trainwreck]

That's all good. :) If you feel that something should be addressed, heck yes! Address it.

[LapseOfMind]

Sweet deal, I'll let you know. Also, don't take anything I say personally because really, it's just my opinion and that's all.

[trainwreck]

I won't. :) and the same goes for me.

[LapseOfMind]

I always expect honest opinions. It never hurts me, just pushes me forward to be a better writer
read moreI always expect honest opinions. It never hurts me, just pushes me forward to be a better writer