Christmas in June

this story supposedly included in my project book but I decide to exlude it :)

Today, the June 22^nd, was one fateful day for June, a beautiful blind orphan guitarist. Yes, today was exactly her 25^th birthday. But June was never celebrating her birthday as well as she was never celebrating Christmas day.

And today was no exception as well, instead of going out to have fun with friends or colleagues, June shut herself up in her room, playing her favorite song.

 

Ring*

 

Love you

You’re far away from me I love you

 

“Yes, they are already far away from me,” June whispered to herself.

 

Yes I love you

I feel that you’re near me

Love you

My love please ring my bell

And tell me know I love you

 

I had been dying to hear those sounds again. I was waiting for the miracle to let me hear those lovely sounds but those all were just leaving me huge disappointment. Every time I played my guitar, I could feel that they were around me, near me, but I was never able to hold them, or show them how much I missed them, how much I loved them.

 

We’re like the film Love Actually

We’ll be together soon I believe

 

It was so many times I hoped I could fly to them, join them but it seemed the mother earth was not letting me yet. I was always found in the crucial time. The moment I thought I was already success; it was the time somebody found me. Then I was asking myself, “What is wrong with my belief?”

 

Every night you appear in my dream

My love do you miss me too?

 

That always I asked to the night sky, “Don’t you miss me? Because I miss you like dying. I miss you like I can not find the air to breath.”

 

Hello my …

You’re my little star

I want you back on ring ring ring my bell

 

I was their little star, I was sure of it. But I didn’t think so right now. But I guessed if they were still with me here, I still would be their little star. And every time my birthday was approaching the image of last Christmas which we celebrated together was forming vividly in my eyes. And I could not help but yearning the warmth.

 

Hello my …

You’re my shining star

I want you back on my ring ring ring my bell

Miss you my love

 

Yes, this little shining star was no longer shining brightly. She was just gleaming palely, covered by yearning of love and warmth embrace.

 

When will I see see see you again

 

The endless question of mine, although I knew the answer already, but the feeling never lied, I missed them, I wanted to meet them and when the feeling was growing beyond my control, that question was hunting me down. Ringing endlessly in my ear, infecting my brain like contagious disease.

 

When I can eat pancake you made

 

It had been 10 years already and I wished one day I could savor myself with the tasty rounded cake. Our usual breakfast and very unique aroma that only Mum could make it.

I could picture the scene again right now, when three of us on the dining table. Mom was busily pouring and flipping the rounded cake, whiles I and Dad were impatiently waiting to taste the cake. Dad would usually sneak his hand to take the cake and mom would hit Dad’s fork with her spatula. Mom gave him deathly glare for being bad example for their only and little daughter.

How I wished that scene to be real right now.

 

Every night you appear in my dreams

My love do you miss me too

 

Sometimes I hated my dreams. The dreams that always showed me a helpless hope, made me realize how desperate I was.

It had been 10 years but not once I had a free dream of them. Every single night I could see their face and the beautiful face of them turning into ugly one in matter of second, terrifying me with horrible nightmare whenever the scream was filling up my ears and loud boom that exploded my house.

I did not know what happened that night. I still could not understand why it happened. All I could remember, we were ready for dinner when Mum was screaming out loud warned me to go to basement and Dad grabbed my Mum’s hand and that was the last glimpse I saw Dad and Mum while I sprinted to the basement.

Next thing I knew, I was surrounded by the blackout, it was dark, everywhere. There was no spark of light, where I am? A shooting voice calmed me down and told me that I was on the hospital. I still could not figure out what happened until my nanny led me into funeral; my parents’ funeral.

And now I knew, I lost my world. All the happy memories scattered into pieces when I saw my house burnt down, leaving me nothing but the pain, very painful pain especially in my eyes and my heart.

The day passed me by and the pain in my eyes was getting worse until the time I could make out to see the light anymore. Once again I broke into pieces, but later on I understood, it was the only way they protected me so I could only see what I wanted to see because the world was cruel enough for me.

 

You’re my little star

I want you back

You’re my diamond ring

I want you back on ring ring ring my bell

 

The bell on Christmas was never the same anymore. No beautiful red ornament on the huge Christmas tree in the corner of our drawing room. The fire place was never lit up the fire. And the drawing room was colder than ever.

Christmas was no more than pierce of sharp ice that ready to stab me right in my heart. No more warmth, no more laughter. The only thing left for me was just this old guitar and music that running on my blood.

The soothing sound whenever I was starting to strum it, it gave me a fresh air to breathe. Just then I could forget the very unfortunate event in my life. There nothing but me and my music nothing else matter.

 

Oh ring ring ring my bell

Miss you my love

 

‘Happy birthday dear,’ A lovingly and motherly voice snapped me back into reality. Mrs. Jen’s voice, the only person left for me from that night tragic event.

‘Thank you Mrs. Jen,’ I said as I made a wish and blew the candle.

‘Paul and Marcia send their best wishes for you, they want you to rest well before your tour started next week,’

She was still the same, and I wondered if Mum would also like this to me, if only …

‘I’ll call them later,’ I told her, and I could sense that she was smiling. It was the time I could feel her warmth embracing me.

She hugged me tight before bid me good night.

My room turned silent once again, and I was lying down on my back, closing my eyes.

“Happy birthday my little star”

*Ring, song by CNBLUE

 

Author's Note

just random story of mine