As I die

This heart has failed me

I can not hear a thing

confusion all around me

and the sight of peaceful wings

 

I can see a butterfly

in this dismal hour

death is overwhealming me

by which I have no power

 

I am wrestleing with death

slowly my life ends

I have a date; with the reaper

in this land of make-pretend.

 

E.B.

April 15,2010

Author's Note

My favorite poet is emily dickonson and she has a poem called " I heard a fly buzz when I died" and that is what inspired me to write a poem about what it would be like in your last moments

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

You wrote a very strong poem. A date with death would be a bad day. I like the feel and desire of your words. A outstanding poem. I like it.
Coyote

[Krista]

That is very well written. I have fought death myself at times. It is not fun at all.

[M O R P H I N E]

0.o You write lovely. This is beautiful, it really is. I just love the rhyming pattern and the meaning behind the words. I guess anyone can interpret poetry in their own way.
Great write.

[Devons]

This is an odd and intriguing little piece of poetry. It's hard to say a great deal more about it than that because it is so mysterious and dark. But then, that is the reason I approve of its existence...

[SobrietyHaze]

Very good poem. full of emotion.

[Alex W]

Not sure about the first stanza, but overall a great piece. I have always wanted to die in battle, perhaps as I hit the floor I will see a peaceful butterfly pass my way :-)

It would be a great thing to see as my last image. Anyhow, great piece. 8.5/10.

[Zombeh]

I like this piece, it was emotional, but calm. Nice piece, besides the few grammar errors, I think this has alot of potential, keep it up! :)

[Rachel U.]

Not bad. The contrasting vocabulary irritated me in the first stanza, but as the reiteration of opposites continued, I grew a little more accustomed to it. I would suggest getting rid of that semicolon in your last stanza, though. It disrupted the flow too much.
*Overwhealming = should be overwhelming. Typo, I'm assuming.
*Wrestleing = should be wrestling
Nice work. P.S. I love Emily Dickinson. :)
9.1/10

[~ Otto Girl ~]

this is very good. it has a very powerful emotion

[Mistaken]

this is very powerful! it is so sad but it is amazing...i love it!