Living my Dreams

I tried to remember what the world was like without him

I walked those steps

Lonely, disheartened, afraid, childish and wandering

I wondered where he was

Who he had become

My hand ached without his

I watched the stretch of earth beside me

Saw the footprints in the sand

Felt the heat on my face

The waters lapping at my calves and thighs

I knew I was alive

Albeit empty

At least a little quiver of humanity

Waiting, wanting, knowing, loving, …. No, simply hoping, reminiscing, desiring, needing

Then I saw his footprints there beside me

Larger than life

Strides larger than mine, legs solid and strong and eager to swallow the world

And I knew what I was missing

Laughter, truth, passion, experiencing it all

I cried more than once, brought him coffee in bed

Saw his smile on a blue moon and knew it was a gift

No one else was to receive that eve

Cried myself to sleep in his arms

Made love until I felt bliss and his arms were my cradle

Told him my fears, my dreams, my wishes, my everything

And know that he heard me, loved me, held me, believed in me.

 

This is a new year. This is what I dreamed it would be.  This is .. enough.  It is like the “Big Orange Splat”,…. I am living my dreams.