One and only

One and only

A Story by Another brick in the wall


I found her on the street. Reeling, and hungry. I turned the cold body around. The red spot on the shirt captured my eyes. It was hard to tell, most people just ran past her, but was it a murder or was it her own fault? 

She was the most beautiful woman, and easily … she captured my heart. She had the most beautiful face, but my eyes were fixed on her stomach. It was huge and round, but there she laid, like a lifeless dog. I lifted her up, and started to walk, but my steps were not big enough. Her gorgeous hand was sliding away from mine, and I did not know what to say. My eyes turned abnormally wet, but I had promised myself, never to cry. Her mouth shaped a cute little smile, if I did not know better I would have thought that she was asleep. But how was it now, that all this had happened? Maybe she had chosen a wrong path in her life? 

Suddenly I realized.. I was carrying two lives in my hands. One was a mystery, the other carried a smile. I now realized that my one and only had passed by. But there was still a hope in my heart, that i would be lucky and become a father. I used all my powers on my last steps, then I gave her away to someone else. I could not walk any further. A white sheet was laid over her, and this was no longer something i could hide. 

I thought about everything we forgot to do, but through the glass I was looking at you. 1 month to early you came into this world, and look! Now you are so healthy and strong. Why our one and only left us that day, is a question that never will fade away.

© 2016 Another brick in the wall


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Reviews

Really emotional story. These are the types of stories I wish I was better at writing. Awesome job!

Posted 7 Years Ago


Another brick in the wall

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much!
"One was a mystery, the other carried a smile." I loved the whole story but that line really caught my eye. I love the flow and your word choice!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Another brick in the wall

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much! The original is in another language, and it was really difficult to choose the ri.. read more
Quinn W

8 Years Ago

No problem! You did a really great job translating!
Oh. My. God. The story you tell is heart-breaking, yet the way you tell it is warming in a tragic sense. I truly believe you have a new fan.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Another brick in the wall

8 Years Ago

That means a lot to me! Thank you. The original text is in Norwegian and it rhymes, so i lost some o.. read more
Good job brushing it up.
It looks much better now.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Another brick in the wall

8 Years Ago

It took me about 1 minute, haha. Thanks
So.
This is sad and the idea behind it is great.
I'm not going to repeat what Steph said,

I'll only add that I'd love to see some pargraphing. This is not something about the writing, more about making it more visually inviting.
Overall a tragic and captivating story.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Another brick in the wall

8 Years Ago

Yeah, i totally agree with you! I was not supposed to post it when i did, so i did not care, i was j.. read more
This is such a sweet and poignant piece! I don't think I noticed any grammatical errors, except you had a few lowercase 'i's when they should have been capitals. Other than that I really enjoyed it!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Another brick in the wall

10 Years Ago

I did not notice that, i wrote it in another program, and this site tend to edit it when i copy- pas.. read more
Steph

10 Years Ago

Oh sorry! I didn't even see another bit loading on your page. I will definitely look at it later.

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277 Views
6 Reviews
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Added on October 26, 2014
Last Updated on May 4, 2016

Author

Another brick in the wall
Another brick in the wall

About
I never truly understand my feelings until I pick up a pen and paper. more..

Writing