Harley suggested I write a poem about a legless albino porcupine....So I did!
There
once lived an albino porcupine by the name of Pegs.
Pegs had no friends; Pegs had white legs.
Pegs lived all alone in a den by the seashore.
She never played with others; she was quite the bore.
But little did they know, by daylight, Pegs sharpened her quills.
At nighttime she shot them at rabbits for thrills.
Into her den, she dragged the dead beasts.
Gnawing from flesh to the bone, she had such lovely feasts.
The blood from the rabbits began to stain her white fur.
She then noticed it was now far from pure.
Deep inside, maniacal thoughts began to stir..
While playing a game of solo chess,
Peg began to crave the bloody taste of flesh.
She peaked outside, but saw no rabbits for miles.
In the corner of her den were only stripped bone piles.
She gnawed upon a few until she felt a sharp pain.
It grew stronger and stronger and made her insane.
She then woke up from her awful nightmare,
and realized she had eaten her own legs; flesh, bone, and hair.
Pegs was distraught at the bloody mess that she saw.
She started to scream, then she started to bawl.
No one came running to comfort Pegs.
For Pegs had no friends, and now Pegs had no legs.
This was akin to a nursery rhyme, where it is presented with a lighthearted nature, but has a rather dark undertone. Maybe undertone isn't the right word, because the macabre descriptions are pretty clear. What gets me is that I thought this was going to be a cute story, but then you turn the tables when Pegs starts murdering rabbits. What I find most disturbing is that Pegs eats the rabbits, when porcupines are primarily herbivores, which may or may not have led to her insanity at the end, when she starts eating her own legs. That being said, I enjoyed this piece very much. It was dark, surprising, and though I wouldn't say it was funny, it was humorous because of it's presentation. I also can't way I felt any pity for Pegs at the end there. She was obviously a sociopath (in my interpretation).
Well you certainly are good at taking suggestions! This is a little queezy for me. But those are fine too as long as they follow good form and this one does. Nice
This poem starts off with innocence and a sense of humour
but then, as it develops, you can't help but feel sorry for Pegs.
I love the way you used couplets rhyme to convey the message.
Whether you knew it or not,
I love how you switched the flow into a triplets rhyme
FUR
PURE
STIR
this adds a slight variation on the rhyme scheme,
which I think complements the poem quite well.
This was akin to a nursery rhyme, where it is presented with a lighthearted nature, but has a rather dark undertone. Maybe undertone isn't the right word, because the macabre descriptions are pretty clear. What gets me is that I thought this was going to be a cute story, but then you turn the tables when Pegs starts murdering rabbits. What I find most disturbing is that Pegs eats the rabbits, when porcupines are primarily herbivores, which may or may not have led to her insanity at the end, when she starts eating her own legs. That being said, I enjoyed this piece very much. It was dark, surprising, and though I wouldn't say it was funny, it was humorous because of it's presentation. I also can't way I felt any pity for Pegs at the end there. She was obviously a sociopath (in my interpretation).
Hello! My name is Alana, and I'm really glad you're on my profile. I love chatting, so send me a message anytime!
I also love reading new poetry, so feel free to add me and we can share our words.. more..