Harley suggested I write a poem about a legless albino porcupine....So I did!
There
once lived an albino porcupine by the name of Pegs.
Pegs had no friends; Pegs had white legs.
Pegs lived all alone in a den by the seashore.
She never played with others; she was quite the bore.
But little did they know, by daylight, Pegs sharpened her quills.
At nighttime she shot them at rabbits for thrills.
Into her den, she dragged the dead beasts.
Gnawing from flesh to the bone, she had such lovely feasts.
The blood from the rabbits began to stain her white fur.
She then noticed it was now far from pure.
Deep inside, maniacal thoughts began to stir..
While playing a game of solo chess,
Peg began to crave the bloody taste of flesh.
She peaked outside, but saw no rabbits for miles.
In the corner of her den were only stripped bone piles.
She gnawed upon a few until she felt a sharp pain.
It grew stronger and stronger and made her insane.
She then woke up from her awful nightmare,
and realized she had eaten her own legs; flesh, bone, and hair.
Pegs was distraught at the bloody mess that she saw.
She started to scream, then she started to bawl.
No one came running to comfort Pegs.
For Pegs had no friends, and now Pegs had no legs.
This was akin to a nursery rhyme, where it is presented with a lighthearted nature, but has a rather dark undertone. Maybe undertone isn't the right word, because the macabre descriptions are pretty clear. What gets me is that I thought this was going to be a cute story, but then you turn the tables when Pegs starts murdering rabbits. What I find most disturbing is that Pegs eats the rabbits, when porcupines are primarily herbivores, which may or may not have led to her insanity at the end, when she starts eating her own legs. That being said, I enjoyed this piece very much. It was dark, surprising, and though I wouldn't say it was funny, it was humorous because of it's presentation. I also can't way I felt any pity for Pegs at the end there. She was obviously a sociopath (in my interpretation).
Oh my! This had a creepy sing~songy~nursery rhyme feel to it. That makes it wonderful! I really enjoyed, "Fitch." so glad I followed it over to, "Pegs." Nicely done, Alana. Angi~
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Oh, I'm so glad you read both! That's so great. And I'm happy you enjoyed both of them! They were so.. read moreOh, I'm so glad you read both! That's so great. And I'm happy you enjoyed both of them! They were so fun and funny to write.
I don't know why (maybe I'm just a little screwed up, like most people) but this made me laugh. A lot. Line 20 especially. Great, humorous, demented piece of poetry!
I would read this to small children. It is hilarious and the consistent rhyming makes it almost like a nursery rhyme. Unfortunately the children's parents might not appreciate the ghoulish fun in this, and they might not let me near their children. I tend have that effect on people sometimes. C'est le vie, I suppose. It's a wonderful write. Thank you.
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
Hahah! Thank you greatly for your review. I enjoyed it. :)
Honestly one of the best poems I read lately, hilarious in a dark way but then again pretty sad on the other. Your rhythm and rhyming are very, very fluent and everything made perfect sense to me and even invoked some giggles, ah. I love it. Definite new favourite.
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
Thank you so very much for the great review! I'm not used to rhyming, writing short poems, or humoro.. read moreThank you so very much for the great review! I'm not used to rhyming, writing short poems, or humorous poems, but this was a fun challenge. :)
12 Years Ago
You're very welcome, you certainly tackled that challenge. :)
Hello! My name is Alana, and I'm really glad you're on my profile. I love chatting, so send me a message anytime!
I also love reading new poetry, so feel free to add me and we can share our words.. more..