Sunsets Lack Permanence

The fading of close friends in comparison to sunsets

There were days, months, years when I swore you reached our hands into the sky and pulled down the sun for us to be. 
     You told me whispered secrets of trust, fear, and mostly passion; stories I could not conceive if uttered from another’s lips.  You gave me your pain, and opened your veins to all that I bestowed upon you.
We were beautiful.
     We spun and twirled, mixing and intertwined until we were one, and not even the cemetery gates could pry us apart.  Sun, if you died, I did too.  Though you were life in the sky; you saw cracks of light emerging from the darkest corners of my mind.  You never failed to dive inside and retrieve smiles from my depths.  You must have believed I was something worth repetitional saving.
We were beauty in compaction.
     When you laughed, I lit up the world with how exuberant it made me. You were my years, and I was every single day of them. You painted maps that led to you on the back of my eyes so that I would never lose sight of us.
When we closed our eyes, we were beheld in beauty.
     Though , why does the sun fade in your absence? I follow the maps, yet you are no longer waiting with open arms and a helping heart.  Where are we?  Here I stand; I, without you.  What happened to us? What happened to the rays of joy and acceptance we once felt when we dared to bleed into one glorious happening? Sun.. Are you there?
I became lost in the beauty.
     I was so blinded by your captivating rays; I failed to notice our permanent marker memories running off of the dusty page. They began bleeding together, contorted and fading, as they found ways to erase themselves from your memory.
Oh, Sun, do you still behold the beauty?
     What happened to your precious ways of seeing things in a delicate fashion? I loved the way you changed and rearranged my thoughts into a magnificent portrait of everything we saw. Do you still see the invisible hope lying in the chambers of us all? Do you still see me?
I still see your beauty.
     Sun, I feel as if you opened my eyes and taught me how to breathe, but then you left to shine for another. For once in my life, the sun felt an eerie shade of ice upon my being.
 I wish I knew ways to thoroughly express the feelings I still feel and the sights of you I cannot unsee.  I would tell you that I would wait for you at our old place in the pouring rain and have the highest hopes that you would meet me there. I would make certain that you heard the simplest of my thoughts, “I miss us.” And most of all, I would inform you that I am well aware that this is a phase of life, but Sun, that is not a proper excuse for abandonment.
I’ll always hold onto the memories of our beauty, and to your heart and your hand.

Author's Note

Reviews are totally welcome and definitely appreciated! :)

Reviews

[Sarah Jean]

You had me at the title of this one. Such a sad but beautiful concept. You write really well and with a lot of forethought and creativity, keep going! :)

[Sami Khalil]

Splendid...:).............

[Alana McGuire]

Thank you :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Richard Layne]

This is very touching and it actually made me think of a child lost with a play on the word "sun." it made me sad but then the ending is very nicely uplifting and sweet like an old good memory. thank you!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

This is a nicely penned piece. Sort of an "ode to the Sun" in a way, where you have personified the feeling of the sun's light and have shown the mourning that one feels when the sun finally sets...but who knows, perhaps you will find a love affair with the moon to keep you warm at night :) Well done.

[AK]

Wow! A simply stunning and beautiful piece. I have no criticism for you on this one, though you specifically asked for it. So well penned! I loved it! Your choice of words was amazing! Keep writing!

[Falling Leaf.]

Beautiful, delicate, and vivid. Painted such a lovely picture; the sun is such an awesome muse. Well done!

Savannah

[Mazie Tackett]

interesting i'm just a little off about why your on here and not out there selling already

[OctoberDawn]

This is amazing, I love the title and how you describe the fleeting beauty of love as a sunset. I really love the line, "I failed to notice our permanent marker memories running off of the dusty page." I really like that you took something that is viewed as permanent and showed how it can easily be washed away given time and circumstance. Over all I thought it was a brilliantly written poem, and I like that it reads more as a story but still has all the elegance of a poem.

[eglantine]

I felt like I was reading a very poetric journal entry, rather than a poem, which I really enjoyed. You have a good grasp on converstation and making the surreal seem real. I'd add a signature pershaps...

[Becky]

Very well written, though it flowed more like a story than a poem to me. You captured my attention nonetheless. Good job!