Carbon Copy

being compared to someone, in this case, my sister

I am her carbon copy.

From the passion of reading anything that makes me feel any less human.
To my accustomly unaccepted wardrobe that is constantly changing whenever I feel an itch to be noticed.
From the captivation of art that has really never been enough, to the music that screams out for indifference at the upmost level.

Although who could allow me to forget the one thing that enables me to follow you so easily?
I am carrying out this solo act of which I speak, I do so every day; yet until this very moment, I had momentarily forgotten how naturally the words flow when I choose to allow their escape.
I cannot quite fathom how entirely morbid it must feel to be locked up for so long, desiring only to be released, yet captured once more, and forever blended and intertwined through the pen with the page in which their fate is eternally sealed.
I truly believe it is this, and this only, in which I may possibly, with self-mastery and determination, prove myself worthy of many the comparisons between you and I, my dearly cherished.
After all, you always did shine brighter than the brightest; you always outshone me. Always Me.
Always.
Me.

My clever wit imprints upon many, filling me with the slightest hope that I may one day live and breathe within the light, no longer shackled to your overbearing shadow with in which my drowning is constant.
But no, reality grips me at the very peak of my high, dragging me down, forcing me to stare into the eyes of obvious truth.
After all, it is your shadow on the opposite, northern end of my chains; your perfections devouring my mere accomplishments.

Though Love, do not for one scarce second allow your thoughts to wrap themselves around the assumption that I am not honored to trail in your wake.
No, I have always accepted my position, with only occasional haunting thoughts of deliverance.
I would never run from this, Darling, no not from my fate.
I could not posses myself to do so, nor live with myself if I did.
Where would I turn to; who would I seek?
You, and you alone, have molded me in your image.
And I, I am your carbon copy.

Author's Note

Reviews are always welcomed! But please don't tell me to shorten it. I can't. Hahah :)

Reviews

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

I love where you wrote this...
"I had momentarily forgotten how naturally the words flow when I choose to allow their escape. "
so true how effortless words can come when there is something to say.

I love how you repeated the last two words twice here, it created so much more feeling in this write !
"After all, you always did shine brighter than the brightest; you always outshone me. Always Me.
Always.
Me."

This part here, to me just makes you shine, just as this write of yours shines. "My clever wit" as you said in the beginning, i'm not sure what to call this voice in your writings but I do love it! Maybe your clever wit, or just a clever sense of word flow and descriptions, drawing a reader into your beautiful feeling filled write... but something is there that shines, indeed!

"My clever wit imprints upon many, filling me with the slightest hope that I may one day live and breathe within the light, no longer shackled to your overbearing shadow with in which my drowning is constant. "

In the ending lines, I like how you wrote this part:
"Though Love, do not for one scarce second allow your thoughts to wrap themselves around the assumption that I am not honored to trail in your wake.
No, I have always accepted my position, "
I do not have siblings so I could now fully know the feeling but I have well heard of it and seen it from friends, movies, stories, your write, and more. Surely it is difficult at times as the feelings in your write speak. And very good at describing that feeling, I should add. A friend of mine just the other day who does have siblings had told me that sometimes the older siblings look down the younger siblings as you might be looking up to them feeling like that "carbon copy" and like your living in there path in that "position". Do remember that the older siblings do become adult first, and when they do life becomes more difficult for them, as your still younger having a bit more fun then them perhaps. Hope I said that good enough for explaining.

This is a really good write, sometimes I wish I had a sibling, can be lonely... sometimes not cause I'v heard of the pain it can become and the feelings within it. I enjoyed this write, lot of feeling into this, it speaks a lot. :) You are a really good writer, even if I have just read about 3 of your writes now. Seems to be flawless spelling and nice flow of words, and use of vocabulary and feeling. I could not just read one... and so reading more.

[Rae]

I have two sisters, one younger and one older, and this is really easy to relate to for me. Wonderful write, I'm practically speechless.(:

[jyfjygfgujhglkjgkutgfvk..]

WOW ALL I CAN SAY!!

[Chrissy]

Great job.

[bethany cullen]

every time it's the same thing with you, different story, poem e.g same reply:
Immense write, always pleasureful to read, beautiful choice of words and hunnie your going places....x look forward to buying you book one day lol x

[AK]

Awesome! It really creates an impression when you repeat 'I am her carbon copy' twice. Great write.

[J Todd Underhill]

Probably your best write I have read from you, it shows a depth I have not seen in your work yet and held my attention all the way through!

[Summer'sBreeze]

*jaw drops*
W.O.W
this is amazing i love it so much !!!!!!!!!!

[Thea]

Hmm, I don't have a sister but this one makes me think of my cousin who is just like me (as what other people said)...I like the descriptions of this poem...Really enjoyed reading it...Great work, Alana!
:)))

[reflectingus]

Expression is your trademark. I totally love this! You seem to obediently blend in as a trail behind your sister, and yet you seem to honor that. I bet your sister's awesome :)

[Cassie Fraga]

WOW!!! this is by far one of the best pieces I've read from you!! so deep with feeling... vey nice write my friend, very nice indeed!!