Darling, You're Dead To Me

Darling, I'll take this to the grave.. There are multiple puns and metaphors here, see if you can find them all. ;)

Quite honestly, to the precise point, I miss you, Love. I miss all the things we never really had but I always desired for us. We were close, but never close enough. But Darling, I settled. It began with my heart holy shattered for you; and what would be more fitting than for it to end as it so began?

End.

Cease.

Stop.

The words burn through my thoughts with every intention of singeing me to the umpteenth degree. But where have you gone? Why have you left?

I ceased my breathing when you ceased your care.

I’ve nothing short of died with my gradual, say lack of you. Internally numb, lifeless; grief-stricken agony consumes my being, threatening replacement upon your ice-cold affection.

Affection. If only you knew such a meaning.

Love, what gnashes at me the deepest remains the many memories of us, slowly disintegrating like the remains of you that lie six feet below my dismal frame, knelt longingly at your grave. Oh if only soiled ground was all that kept us apart.

Apart.

Distanced.

Dissociated.

And in one fell swoop a surge of anger flows through my icy veins. How could you leave me here?

I ceased my breathing when you ceased your care.

Adrenaline.

Uncontainable,

Uncontrolled

Adrenaline rushes through my coldened fingers as they clench around the wall of dirt you so willingly allowed to separate us. Oh but you don’t think I’ll get to the bottom of this, Darling? Well you are gravely mistaken. No, I am clawing my way through the thickened dirt in determined anguish; do I truly want to know? Must I force my eyes upon what is left of you, my wayward love?

The rhetorical venom seeps through in ignited stitches, threatening my very sanity.

Sanity, it leaves my body through warm, crimson blood escaping from my frantic fingers. It seems the dirt is cementing the closer to you I become. Who knew the past would be so difficult to reach?

As if I’m fighting for my life….Oh but truly, am I not?

I ceased my breathing when you ceased your care.

After seemingly years of devoted piercings to the ground, I cast my hollow eyes upon your visible, withered frame. Your frail body lies inanimate in my gradually numbing arms.

Inanimate.

Inert.

Quiescent.

My tears stream down like burning blades, falling upon your ever-dismal face, as realization penetrates through my every pore, goring me with agonizing truth of your death in the form of apathetic betrayal. For so long I have sacrificed my very being to merely brighten your rainy days. Darling, who was there, holding you, when your demons lashed and gnarled their hideous fangs in attempt to “end your suffering”? They left you hanging by a thread, screaming out….

No! You can’t! Please Love, please come back. Don’t leave me here with all my failed attempts to save you. Stop! Wake up! You could end this all with a mere, sincere phrase you wouldn’t dare mutter from your icy lips. Darling,

I miss you.

I miss.

I…without you.

Oh the vain of such phrased.

I ceased my breathing when you ceased your care.

Oh such a pity your lifeless frame lacks the detection of fractured venom in my pleading voice. It lacks my very being. What a sight we must be; my pathetic commitment to a ghost outlived twined with your frigid, ruptured heart….or lack thereof.

No one need witness such an unfortunate masquerade; for they could not fathom envisioning all that is held in our wake. So may the cemetery gates serve as masquerade masks for our beloved tragedy.

Now fall the masks.

Now close the gates.

Now close the curtain.

You may have ceased your breathing, but I will never cease my care.

Author's Note

Reviews are always welcomed! But please don't tell me to shorten it. I can't. Hahah :)

Reviews

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Wow you hit this part, perfectly I think. It does really seem like this is how it is at times.
"It began with my heart holy shattered for you; and what would be more fitting than for it to end as it so began?"

I love how you repeated this line in a italic font throughout.
"I ceased my breathing when you ceased your care."

Here you go with your great way of writing feelings.
"And in one fell swoop a surge of anger flows through my icy veins. How could you leave me here?"

Whew... do I need to say anything here, because you just said this so good.
"Adrenaline rushes through my coldened fingers as they clench around the wall of dirt you so willingly allowed to separate us."

How do you come up with this powerful feeling... wow.
"The rhetorical venom seeps through in ignited stitches, threatening my very sanity."

These lines belong together so well!
"As if I’m fighting for my life….Oh but truly, am I not?
I ceased my breathing when you ceased your care."

Simply... love this.
"My tears stream down like burning blades, falling upon your ever-dismal face, as realization penetrates through my every pore, goring me with agonizing truth of your death in the form of apathetic betrayal. For so long I have sacrificed my very being to merely brighten your rainy days. "

Well... wow, if that isn't a ending to this write, then what would be. I love it, and the way you reversed that italic write you had repeated through out, changing it in the end, so good.
"So may the cemetery gates serve as masquerade masks for our beloved tragedy.
Now fall the masks.
Now close the gates.
Now close the curtain.
You may have ceased your breathing, but I will never cease my care."

I see what MiniMoxx says about the way its written like a "chapter of a book" but... I love how you wrote this, I can see I think what you tried to do, with the emotion without. Or at least that is what it seems like to me, which is a great way to writing this, just perfect how it is. :) Nice write for sure.

[Archia]

I didn't understand all the puns and metaphors (okay, I didn't understand most of them). But I don't care one bit, I enjoyed this as it was, it doesn't need full understanding.
I really enjoyed this, it was eerie (if I'm taking the right thing from this).

[Little Birdie]

I love the alternating of emotions and how fast you're actually able to alternate them, it's quite a talent. The poem in itself if quite straightforward, which is maybe for the best due to a heavy nature of it. It's lovely and crushing at the same time.

[Marie]

But how perfectly sad...! How perfectly a story of loss. Everything seen through a veil of despair...

[Cassie Fraga]

WOW!!! that was a great poetic story indeed!!! I loved it!! great writing my friend... keep em coming!!

[bethany cullen]

Dont mean to sound like a wee creep but seriously your going places with your poetry, your poems should be as famous as the poem " my love is like a red red rose," Robert burns xx

[Charile]

Wow. I can't even... This is amazing. I mean it's so well written and the emotions are so real! Amazing job

[† Allybear!!! &d..]

This is really good, and Long!!!! it got all the feelings out, and its very complex :)

[Adora.xo]

I ceased to breathe when you ceased to care. The emotion behind this is like crystal. Once again, your diction leaves me in awe! I read this a couple times just to take the descriptions in fully. Well done!

~Adora

[Chris Yip]

That was touching right down to the marrow bone!!! i was drawn in to read from start to finish. The flow was good with emotions and thought evoking phrases. Could feel the pain and anguish emanating from between the lines of a grief stricken lover. Sophisticated and deep, yet very easily read and understood. No more room for improvement. You nailed it once again dear poet!!!

[R J Askew]

Bravo! My heart sank a little when I saw the length, but then I read it and my heart fired up!
It is dramatic, reminds me of those Browning monologues. But it is more vigorous and modern, clearly. It also reminded me of the band Evanescence in some ways.
I like the refrain, and I like those clever asides ... quiescent/inert etc ... they sort of punctuate the stream, provide contrast.
These are the dabs I esp liked: gravely mistaken ... who thought the past wld be so difficult to reach ... devoted piercings to the ground ... pore, goring me ...
I wld happily read more on the strength of this. Well done.