Smiling Veins, Over Smothered Vain

Finally letting go of the person who hurt you the most, that you dearly cherished

It's so quiet here now.

I no longer feel your haunting abandonment creeping into my thoughts when my world silences itself.

The air I breathe is so surreal, surreal with a hint of blissful rest seeping through my veins

Making the corners of my mouth curve slightly upward as my eyes narrow and stare off, entranced by the thought.

The sound of my fingers hesitantly dancing across the dusty keyboard is a dim comparison to your laughter resounding in my sickened thoughts. My thoughts in which you have become less familiar.

You no longer bind them, consume them as if you were oxygen in the flesh.

You cannot begin to fathom how refreshing your absence is upon my wake.

You were never there to ease the down pouring of my loss, no, you simply acquired a new edge to dancing in the rain.

I've yet to conceive why I tortured and tore myself down for so long, for such a pitiful, blackened end.

Although I must admit, your memory passes through my guarded thoughts occasionally, only to be triumphed and trampled by my final acceptance of our fatal truth.

       ..Oh, for the sake of saving soul, how I wish I could proclaim these words with my head held high and not a stitch of justified doubt boiling through my shattered, weary veins.

But no, ohhh Darling, no.

Something you posses has me dangling, captivatingly drawn by your very being, when all I desire is to lack the adequate emotion it takes to care in your name.

I want to be done, to be finished with all my chasing and waiting, these silly games you'd never play and I, as queen, unfulfillingly reigned.

Reign, something you have over my sympathy for you, sympathy that you've always taken for granted.. or neglected to take at all.

       Enough of this uncovered and mustered up pity parade and shameful charade

Honest thought of the moment? You're dead to me, as I remain to you.

Oh, is that just so uncalled for, Darling? Does it repair your blinded vision with my therapeutic medicine for the eyes?

But it's simply ever so fitting for your knack of losing sight of the one who has stood dead center, before your eyes, for years gone by.

How vain can you possibly get this year, shall we see?

Though you really shouldn't get your pitiful little hopes up; I'm not sure anything could recover your self-gouged eyes from the pain you've so nonchalantly caused by some pathetic excuse I refuse to support any longer.

       The longer my fingers rain storm across this much too familiar keyboard, the stronger my veins become as they send the perfect combination of blood and venomous words to the tips of my fingers, making the keys sing out in glorious release of each fitting string of letters.

I no longer desire to waste my rejuvenation on the essence of you living through this proclamation. No, I refuse to waste another second on you that you wouldn't spend with me.

       So pardon me, for as long as I wish, as I spend my precious time with the people who rebuild my scarred veins with a mere smile at my company, replacing the boiling doubt with dedicated coursing memories of time well spent.

And Darling, don't wait up for me.

Author's Note

Reviews are always welcomed! But please don't tell me to shorten it. I can't. Hahah :)

Reviews

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Love this line in the beginning, a great beginning:
"I no longer feel your haunting abandonment creeping into my thoughts when my world silences itself."

Absolutely love how you described this here:
"The sound of my fingers hesitantly dancing across the dusty keyboard is a dim comparison to your laughter resounding in my sickened thoughts. "

Love the way you wrote and described this whole part with the emotions, nice:
"You no longer bind them, consume them as if you were oxygen in the flesh.
You cannot begin to fathom how refreshing your absence is upon my wake.
You were never there to ease the down pouring of my loss, no, you simply acquired a new edge to dancing in the rain.
I've yet to conceive why I tortured and tore myself down for so long, for such a pitiful, blackened end."

Such truth in this:
"Although I must admit, your memory passes through my guarded thoughts occasionally, only to be triumphed and trampled by my final acceptance of our fatal truth."

Love the way you speak here with the emotions:
" ..Oh, for the sake of saving soul, how I wish I could proclaim these words with my head held high and not a stitch of justified doubt boiling through my shattered, weary veins."

Nicely said:
"Though you really shouldn't get your pitiful little hopes up; I'm not sure anything could recover your self-gouged eyes from the pain you've so nonchalantly caused by some pathetic excuse I refuse to support any longer."

Love the ending:
" So pardon me, for as long as I wish, as I spend my precious time with the people who rebuild my scarred veins with a mere smile at my company, replacing the boiling doubt with dedicated coursing memories of time well spent.
And Darling, don't wait up for me."

Okay, just wow... this is brilliance in emotion and heart poured feelings and yet so strong. Your writes are a great length and yet once the reader starts to read it we/ I get pulled into the write of yours so so much. Excellent write. No need to shorten it at all, it has all it needs in the space you wrote it in. Amazing write... excellent, brilliant, lovely, write. Love it. lol You always capture me in your poems when you write, they are so good.

[Kim's Poems]

such a deep emotional read, I really enjoyed this. nicely done

[DESTROYA]

I love this! Your emotion was shown so well by your thoughts. the word choice was wonderful. very well done