To Dry My Tears

very hard for me

 

The day you were destined to come into this world you decided you couldn't wait

You were born early but not the way I wanted, you were still born

This week if you had of lived, you would have turned twenty, but it wasn't to be this way ordained by fate

Still until this very day, your fate I mourn.

 

Always a whole in my heart, an ache in my arms, for babes that were lost

Lost because of hypertension, definitely not a friend but a much dreaded foe

My heart, my very being ended up paying a tremendous cost

Five more children suffered the same fate as you, I try to dry my tears, but they still continue to flow.

 

Your brothers and sisters were lost to miscarriage, unlike them, I got to hold you

Just like any mother, I inspected everything including your fingers and toes

You unlike the others, you were a solid reality real, my baby, I ended up playing a overwhelming dues

Losing all of you, I will never except the fact that's the way things go.

 

But you, I held you, when I said hello I also had to say good bye

Twenty years have passed since then but there remains a whole in my heart

In reality the holes in my heart number five plus one, I still find no answers to the question of why

With each of you when you went so my heart divided into six painful parts.

 

The disease almost took my life just as it took yours

I would have gladly die, if it meant that any of you could lived

I feel so guilty because you never had a chance, if only for my disease there could have been a cure

If there had been maybe some of you would have lived.

 

But you, my Heather, I held you, inspected you, you were a reality, I held you after you died

The others I also loved, but my arms still ache for you, even after twenty years

It seems just like yesterday when I kissed you good bye, but I did so with so much pride

You were a creation of love , very much a part of me, even after all this time I still can't dry my tears.

 

 

Author's Note

this is very true!