I'm really new to projects like this, so this is just a short prologue to set me in motion.
I'm not sure if I'm any kind of decent at writing, so any criticism of this first piece helps.
Depression crept into my life the way Winter creeps from the warm chill of Autumn. It slowly made its way in, leaving everything it touched icy-cold and dangerously sharp, until it had smothered every trace of what had been before it.
There was no Spring to this Winter, however. Depression wasn't something that would simply thaw out and make way to fresh starts and new beginnings. Depression was not finite, it did not have a clear-cut beginning and it had no foreseeable ending.
Not sure my paragraph structure is very good? I know this chapter is very short but it's intended as a prologue. Do you think my vocabulary is effective? Any constructive criticism is more than welcome!
My Review
Would you like to review this Chapter? Login | Register
I think you are off to a good start with this and I am definately interested in where you end up going.
The only thing I question is: autumns warm chill
A bit of an oxymoron going on there. Maybe just autumns chill or the cool chill of autumn?
Please let me know when you have added to this. :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I wondered if that would cause confusion, I was trying to put across that Autumn was cold but still .. read moreI wondered if that would cause confusion, I was trying to put across that Autumn was cold but still warm in comparison to the icey Winter which followed, but perhaps I didn't word it very well.
Thank you for your kind words, I'm aiming to have the next chapter up some time in the next week :)
Beautifully said, an axiom for all of us. Chilling (pun intended) that I know exactly how that feels. Even a short prologue of such caliber is enough for me to wait for the rest of the book. Autumn can have a warm chill, because cold can sometimes feel like burning. Ah, the turning tables! Vocabulary can always be found but imagery is something the writer must already possess, as well as knowing when to delve into the complex and when to keep simplicity. A good beginning.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much! I hope the rest of my writing doesn't disappoint! :)
I think you are off to a good start with this and I am definately interested in where you end up going.
The only thing I question is: autumns warm chill
A bit of an oxymoron going on there. Maybe just autumns chill or the cool chill of autumn?
Please let me know when you have added to this. :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I wondered if that would cause confusion, I was trying to put across that Autumn was cold but still .. read moreI wondered if that would cause confusion, I was trying to put across that Autumn was cold but still warm in comparison to the icey Winter which followed, but perhaps I didn't word it very well.
Thank you for your kind words, I'm aiming to have the next chapter up some time in the next week :)
Just do your thing Azure,Forget The mistakes and believe you are the best, if there are omissions and errors in your writings other writers will review you and help you rectify them. Welcome Onboard.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much! I'm so excited to get started on this :)