Lust

Sometimes lust is all the best you can hope for in a relationship. Part of my 'Four Letter Words' series.

It won’t be the best night of my life. It certainly won’t be the best sex of my life. Out of ten, I’d rate it six. A good solid six. You could say that’s setting my standards low; six isn’t so good. But it’s better than five and if five is average, then it’s better than average. I’m happy with that. Sometimes I want great sex " I want the mind shattering ten. Sometimes, I’ll settle for ordinary sex " and get something that barely rates a two. Tonight, I only need a six.

Matt knows it’s me calling. He knows why I’m calling. He waits until his phone nearly rings out. I hang up just as he answers. I don’t need it that much.

I’ve known Matt for the better part of four years. I met him at the end of his marriage, when he was desperately lonely and craved company as much as he did affection and validation. Having come out of a difficult relationship myself, and finding it impossible to meet someone, I gave him what he needed. We dated, if you could call it that, while his divorce came through.

Eventually, I imagined that I started to fall in love with him and that we could have a future. Eventually, he thought he’d found the woman of his dreams, the perfect partner that his wife had never been. I thought that was me. He thought it was the girl he met at work, his new girlfriend, a real girlfriend. His therapist and real girlfriend made him feel good enough about himself not to need my validation, my affection or even my company. So, after wasting two years of my life waiting for Matt to realise he loved me, and watching thirty come and go, I was no better off.

Six months later, I’d found a new man. We dated. It was great. Which is a small lie that I can say now because it was two years ago. In all honesty, it was only great that it ended. Matt’s perfect girlfriend turned out to be not so perfect and they broke up. We ran into each other, went out for a drink and went back to my place. I needed a man again for an instant. He needed instant validation again. Now, whenever we’re between partners and our own needs drive us to desperation, we call each other.

My phone rings. “Hello, Kate speaking.” Of course I know who it is but why pretend to be grateful that he’s calling?

He sounds a little unsure. If I hadn’t hung up, he’d be just a little more cocky. “Hi, Babe, it’s me, Matt. You called.”

“Yeah, sorry, Matt. I was just cleaning out the address book on my phone and pressed the connect button by accident.”

Is that disappointment I can hear? “Oh. Oh, okay. Well, I won’t keep you.”

“Okay. Sorry about that. Hey, Matt, while you’re on the phone, do you have plans for tonight?”

Author's Note

I think it's finished, so any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Those woman who call back after 3-4 years. I had a woman we dated three times over a 10 years period. I ask her to marry me and she ran away. Sometime it is Ok to try to find some sort of peace and pleasure. I believe woman have the power to let you in or block the door. A very good story. I like the feel and emotion of this story. A excellent story.
Coyote