The reality we live in sucks.

I woke up after an enchanting dream of you.
The light that comes from my slightly opened window is blinding me, which lead me to face the other side of the room.
I looked at the clock and it's already 10 in the morning.
I knew you're already awake since you are a morning person, you get a lot of things done in the morning while I'd rather stay in bed till noon and get bruch when I wake up.
I sent you a confession of what I felt for you last night, and all you ever said was "you know we've tried this before, we're better off as friends" and I remembered me asking why.
I gave out a smirk as I fumbled for my phone in between the sheets on my bed.
It's always like this since I fell in love with you.
I fell asleep with my phone on my hands and wake up looking for it between sheets the next morning.
I turned on my phone and was greeted by your sweet smile. Your beautiful face is my lockscreen wallpaper. You had your eyeglasses on, black tee-shirt, your girly sling bag and a heart stopping shy smile in you lips. Seeing your face in my every waking day helps ebb the pain of you not wanting me to give you the love you deserve.
You wanted to be friends but how can we? How can I treat you as a friend when all my life all I have is this strong feeling inside my chest that is always ready to burst anytime we're together?
How can I be friends with someone I envision a life with in the future?
How can I be friends with someone i love dearly that I want her to be more than a friend and be the queen of my house, my life, my everything? It has already been 8 years since the last time I told you I love you. I had a lot of women coming in and out of my life in a span of 8 years but I just keep on coming back to you. You are like a man's favorite piece of clothing, there might be a lot of other clothes in the market, but it's still you I end up wearing.
I opened my messages and was disappointed to see you haven't replied.
Maybe I dont deserve to know why?
Why wont you allow this foolish heart of mine to love you for the rest of our lives?
Why won't you allow us to be something magical, something extraordinary, something that is more than friends?
Why can't you trust me again, the way you did before; that my love will never fail you this time if you can just give me a chance?
I locked my phone screen and the screen went dark. I am now staring at my phone with a blank expression.
I pulled the blankets over my head, tried to get back to sleep and hoped I'd see you in my dreams.
At least in my dreams I get to touch your face, kiss your heaven-promising lips, and get to call you mine.
My dreams are still better than the reality we both live in.