Changes

I wrote this not to immortalize her, but to let my emotions flow away from my body. Every thing still aches.

I remember those late night talks we've had.

It was the time before smartphones ever existed and our love was starting to surface.

We used to talk about random things like how I can send you a text of a moving emoji.

Now all of your replies are empty.

Nothing but exchange of emojies, not a word that makes sense.

It's like you've grown tired of talking to me.

Did I bore you with my flaws and all of my baggages that you had to deal with?

Did you got tired of me asking the same questions, over and over again for the past 7 years?

Did you got tired of holding the same hands that used to hold you when you're feeling cold?

Did you got tired of the arms that used to hold you when the whole world feels like it's against you?

Did you just got tired of me?

I have so many questions,I know I'd never have answers to. 

All I know is that we can never go back to what we used to.

I know that I have to get used to waking up without expecting to see your face or feeling your warmth next to me.

I know I will have to deal with the emptiness only you can fill in.

I know i have to stop this tears from falling because of the crippling pain inside my chest, seeing you do the things we used to do, but not with me anymore.

You will go on with your life, and I will get stuck on what could've been or maybe I'll move on too.

Only time can tell the changes that's going to happen in our life.

Author's Note

Please, please tell me where I can improve my writing.

Reviews

[Stacy Purvis]

They say the only constant is change. It's the only thing we can truly count on.
Excellent piece.

[Rassoul]

Great piece of writing, I like how you involved these questions tho. Great work.

[Glen Weimann]

Sometimes you just have to let it out, and you've sued a semi-structured poetic format to do it. I hope that things have improved for you over the weeks/months since you wrote it. There are lots of cliches about time being a healer. but maybe there's something true in them.

As for the poem, I have a few comments - mainly spelling / punctuation. But first to say I like the repeat section 'Did ...'. I think it's very effective at showing your pain as you list all the unanswerable questions. You use it again with 'I know ...'

Hope you find these comments helpful
- Line 1 ... we've had (we have had) would be better as simply 'we had'
- Now all of your replies are empty ... This is a little odd. At first it seems like a great line because she just does emoji or whatever and no real content. But then later it reads like the two of you have actually split up - in which case why would she reply to messages at all, never mind sending empty ones?
- Did you got tired ... should be 'get tired' each time
- when you're feeling cold ... should be ... when you were feeling cold
- when the whole world ... strictly this should go into the past tense to match the 'Did you', i.e. when the whole world felt like it was against you. If you're replaying a phrase you used to use with each other, it may be OK, so may I suggest putting the actual phrase in " " marks
- I know I'll (I will) never have answers to
- to what we used to ... would be better to add 'be' after the 'to'
- only you can fill ... delete the 'in'
- ... these tears ... not this tears
- You will go on ... I will ... or maybe ... This line describes the possible future outcomes for each of you, and it just felt / looked a bit under-played. May I suggest separating it onto 3 lines so that each part of the statement has more profile
You will go ...
I will get stuck ...
Or maybe ...
- the changes that are going to happen (not that's)

Hope these help. I wouldn't usually take the time to do this level of suggestion, but I think you've written a strong emotional 'poem'. Once again, I hope things have improved for you since you wrote it.

Nigel

[Hiraeth]

With regards to the line you find odd, it was because I already felt us drifting apart even if we were still together at that time.Thank you so much for the constructive comments! I really appreciate your thoughts about what I wrote. I also appreciate that you took your time to ask me how I've been, we just broke up last monday and all I've been doing is write about how I feel. Again, I appreciate that you took your time reading my thoughts and giving inputs.

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked your logic and thoughts in the poetry.
"You will go on with your life, and I will get stuck on what could've been or maybe I'll move on too.
Only time can tell the changes that's going to happen in our life."
The above lines are true. Life is like the running river. Moving and changing always. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote