Forest

A realization I've come to find out.

As chaos clouds my soul my mind wanders into different areas of my brain trying to dig itself deeper into a hole in hopes to tunnel through to the other end. I journey into my wilderness of thoughts and emotions in a desperate attempt at an escape from reality only to find myself lost in the woods of my own conflicts. I see faces of those close to me etched into tress that were once massive and vibrant, ones that used to be so full of life. The trees have now become entities of darkness, beings that inhabit the darkest part of someone's nightmares with twisted faces and branches that are gnarled and contorted in ways that make one wonder if they grew into those shapes out of anguish. The faces hold no comfort either, soft faces now scream out in anger, fear, remorse and dread while looking down upon me. People that were once close in my heart have now become these lifeless figures surrounding me, begging me to go deeper into this forest of horrors. I walk deeper still, stopping to look at each tree to see if I find any resemblance of the person I knew them as, not what they have now become. With each tree I visit I slowly feel bits of my soul and sanity being leached out of me into the inner core of the trees themselves, as if they are still grasping at whatever warmth of life they can feel around them, each one asking for more of my being as I continue. They become more and more grotesque as I continue down into the darkness of my mind. Will I ever find my way out of this or will I be consumed by these harbingers of insanity? I feel my soul getting weaker as I go but I also feel enthralled by that thought, are the trees completing their goal in this area? They wanted my warmth and to grow with me when they were first planted but now as they suck me slowly dry that's all they want, to cause me pain. I have no fear as I come to this realization and welcome it with open arms because these beings have been created of my own accord. Then I see it off in the darkness, a fully grown tree with no knots, all of its leaves still strongly growing on it, flowers blooming on it and fruit starting to fall from its branches onto the cursed earth around it. It stands out only for an instant but an instant is all I need to make my to it. As I reach it I feel new life breathed into me, how could something so beautiful and full of vibrant colors be growing in a place where darkness resides? I approach it and touch its trunk, it's warm. I do a thorough inspection of the tree not knowing what to expect. I find a face, one I know all too well and stare at it for what seems like and eternity. It resembles someone I know very well and makes me question how this person could be here. Then I realize that possibly, just possibly, that person has been here in my forest of darkness all along, waiting for me to find them hidden amongst the foliage and dread of this place. I lay down next to this tree and I breathe a sigh of relief, even though I may be lost is this realm of my mind I found something worth holding on to. I find its roots slowly picking me up from the ground and raising me high into its branches. They direct me towards the sky and whisper to me to look up. I do so and find that the way out wasn't to go deeper but to rise above all else. I keep going higher and higher until I clear the tree line feel the embrace of light surround me with its glow. A calm waive washes over me with a subtle feeling of hope mixed into it's waives. I begin to feel like the old me again from the help of that single tree. The person who it resembles comes to mind and I will never forget that even in my darkest of moments, lost in my forest of despair and life draining out of me they helped save me from myself. They reminded me of who I am and what I can be. I go now into the clouds and enjoy a rest from the trees, a break from my chaos and always know that individual will be here for me if I get lost again, I just have to find her again.