Rough Ideas for songs - with audio (guitar/vocals)

FEEDBACK IS NEEDED! thanks :)

http://wikisend.com/download/881816/Scattered Wreckage.mp3

That is what I just recorded :) tell me what you guys think! I need feedback!

here are the lyrcis....





SCATTERED WRECKAGE

And I will wait behind these broken walls

To find the scattered wreckage of us all

 

But to my soul we pay the price

 

 

Of a relation built on ice

I assure you it won't last

Just like me

 

Chorus

 

 

But tonight we will live in harmony.

Care to share the things you may need?

You filled me right to the top with love,

Now take away the wreckage

For me

 

Retreat to the base you call a home

 

 

Defeat in this case

We felt all along

The bitter taste of sadness reached me

When you took my heart apart

Piece by piece x2

 

Chorus

 

 

But tonight we will live in harmony.

Care to share the things you may need?

You filled me right to the top with love,

Now take away the wreckage

For me x2

 

Piece by piece x2

 

 

 

Author's Note

:)

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Hi, well there is no doubt behind the lyrical beauty of this song and as you wanted to write something more lyrical this time, so bravo! This one is indeed very lyrical the chorus section simply went flawless...

The only scope of improvement according to me is the way how you ended the song.
Wouldn't it be much better to end it while fading out the complete chorus section rather than by just a line -
"But tonight we will live in harmony." Since, I guess the most beautiful lines of the entire lyric are -
"When you took my heart apart
Piece by piece" , so you just end it while fading out "Piece by piece"....Just a suggestion!

Well, the guitar went well overall and I loved the rest of the song too!
Great work :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I like it... would love to hear it sung with just an acoustic guitar playing.

[Jake Martin]

:D
no, see, i want to record this with you ;)
i love it a lot :D
see ya in "the studio"!

[turtlegirlluver]

I really like the lyrics and the guitar sounded good too! I liked the notes, but maybe there are a few that you could change, maybe raise a note or two to give the song a little more variety. But I enjoyed how it came together! Keep my posted on the progress with this song! (Oh! I liked the end line in your song, very good!)