So Breakable

One of my longest pieces.

Shattered all your plans. The pointed glass flies towards my soul.
With my so-called attractive brick, you never got to hold.
Paying for new delicate shield, you choose a thicker piece.
One you hope and pray will be kept unbroken and above the influence.
We both know that to be kept unbroken, you must lose the fence.
Loose the chance. Loose the glass. Loose the guy. Forget the past.

I rein down on your head in the form of water as you walk home tonight.
For my own will was not stable enough to guide you. So downright
beautiful. Mentally unstable you make me until the last second
lived. Scratches turned to scars as cuts turned to death. Stop it.
My mind rules the body it holds with such a grip, I cannot escape.
As if the name you weep for rhymes with tears, you speak in questions.
Unspoken. Too brutal for the real world, we both know. Stop it.
In the night, you lie hopelessly unattended. Your mother downstairs.
Broken by the one last chance. I gave you one last chance. Unfair?
Of course it is. However, the way I wish to love, is so very pure.
I only hope that my Lord, our Lord, can help lure me to a cure.

"Hope" says the counselor. "Be happy" Fifty bucks an hour for the
cup of coffee I watch you drink. Help yourself, and stop helping
me. Do I really need sit on this carpeted chair while you rule my life?
I'll turn your tables, break your windows, smash your own personality
until nothing but breathless, restless vibes haunt your subconscious.
Sit in your spinning chair of answers, and tell me about yourself.
Think you can help me? Conflict beyond hope causes defeat to myself.

Talk to him. Let him listen to you. Watch him turn into my enemy.
For the next lines expressed in riddles, look past your self-esteem-chimney.
The dust floats into the only light of my room. Right into clear vision I see.
Particles invade my space only to flow directly in my eyes. Burning,
you watch the fire grow. No action taken and no sense of anything turning.
Nothing changing except my love for chances. My love for you.
Losing all my friends and losing what is now had. Evidence reeks from
the impurity of my heart. Bad relations took my very soul part by part.
My heart still rests with my lover you see. But true joy will never be the same
to me.

For I write and write only to make ends meet and lines rhyme.
Like a blinded spokesman, you refuse to care but continue ranting.
Begin counting my lines and my meaningful melodies because the minute this
begins to bore you, I will stop caring what you think. Oh spacious but true,
you give me no room. Friends take over our lives now days, so it is we assume.
From boyfriends to matchmakers, you forget the true fear of losing another
and maybe another, behind your years. Twisted and hollow like no breakfast,
your breath reeks of uncleanly lies. Brush your teeth to defy what truly lies beneath
your subtle tongue. Speak in riddles so that I may answer in pure assumptions.

Call me broken or call me the same. Years of horrid trips and trippy kicks.
Brick dope haunts me in my sleep as a terrorist. Heart rips as my soul trips
and is left behind. Like the 420 on that Saturday night, my heart skips.
Sinse the last time I tried to spark, I've forgotten so very much. Addicting.
Two months sober, I absorb peer pressure along with personal support.
I can thank the ones I love for saving me from things other than court.

Cuts reveal true emotion. Scars reveal loss of control. Words reveal feelings.
Corruption eats at my arms as if its last toll is finally ready for the killing.
We both know the words are lies and nothing will ever go wrong.
But why take the risky chance of second guessing lyrics to a song?
Bet it all. Threw everything worth anything there at the table. A Game of
chance. Hopefully you now see just how breakable
I am.

Author's Note

This is a poem full of mixed emotions. The rest is kind of up to you to decide.

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is indeed one of the longest pieces by you and thus I can sense all the elaborated emotions of your.
A very thoughtful and deep piece of writing it is and as a reader I can clearly see all the variations of the feelings.

I found that light of hope in lines like - ""Hope" says the counselor. "Be happy" "
and the way you took that hope and expressed it in your personal way was very appealing!

"Cuts reveal true emotion. Scars reveal loss of control." - This line for me out stands from the entire piece , it is really so raw and deep, sad and full of despair....

"Hopefully you now see just how breakable
I am." - This is again a beautiful way to close and conclude a mixed emotional piece like this....Brilliant man!


I'm also very glad that you adopted this style of free flow writing and thats why even it's length didn't bothered me, otherwise if it would be in structured form then I won't be able to read it in one go!

Thus, I should admit that it is a very mature piece of writing and I will surely add it to my favorites!
Great piece of writing.

[hgfhfghf]

I feel like with every line I read, I come to a new revelation.
""Hope" says the counselor. "Be happy" Fifty bucks an hour for the
cup of coffee I watch you drink. Help yourself, and stop helping
me. Do I really need sit on this carpeted chair while you rule my life?
I'll turn your tables, break your windows, smash your own personality
until nothing but breathless, restless vibes haunt your subconscious.
Sit in your spinning chair of answers, and tell me about yourself.
Think you can help me? Conflict beyond hope causes defeat to myself."

I Adored this. more than anything. the words you use throughout this peom kind of leave me in awe because its sooo perfect. the one that i related to the most, was " Brick dope haunts me in my sleep as a terrorist. Heart rips as my soul trips
and is left behind. Like the 420 on that Saturday night, my heart skips.
Sinse the last time I tried to spark, I've forgotten so very much. Addicting.
Two months sober, I absorb peer pressure along with personal support.
I can thank the ones I love for saving me from things other than court. " I love your honesty. the pure just throwing it out there and not really trying to hide anything. Haha none of this may make sense, but mostly what i'm trying to say is I love this writing more than any book i've read or any poet i've skimmed over.

:]
Thank you for letting me read this awesome poem.

Hope to hear from you friend,
Allison

[!!..Love..!!]

WOW! What an amazing write dear,your word are so full of passion and emotionally strong.
I so loved it.

[The DuchessPoet]

WOW, lot of emotional twist!
This line for me was phenomenal:
"Cuts reveal true emotion. Scars reveal loss of control."

This is an exceptional write!
I REALLY enjoyed this piece!

[Liza]

enjoyed reading all the spectrums of the emotions experienced, especially loved the choice of these words...

Cuts reveal true emotion. Scars reveal loss of control. Words reveal feelings.

[lexiilunatic]

wow. this had to be my favorite lines
"Cuts reveal true emotion. Scars reveal loss of control. Words reveal feelings.
Corruption eats at my arms as if its last toll is finally ready for the killing."

those were so amazing.
but also the whole poem was outstanding, it pretty much showed all emotions.
i really like it.

nice work; lexii :]

[turtlegirlluver]

Wow, this is different for you, but I like it! This is filled with so many emotions, and shows how all this can be going on in someone's head at one time. It also shows how all these emotions and thoughts can break us down and put a heavy weight on our heart- a heart that is already broken. A very good write!

"My heart still rests with my lover you see. But true joy will never be the same
to me."

"Hopefully you now see just how breakable I am."

Loved this last line! Soooo true!

[Amanda]

an interesting mixture of thoughts and emotions...but to me, it all centers around how breakable the heart and soul really are. cuts that are carved deep and deeper still, becoming scars that never quite heal.

a story of the roller coaster ride that the heart and mind seem to go through at times, when it really doesn't know what to do after being broken.

good job, Austin.

Amanda

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Free verse poetry is great cause you can take it so many directions... I can see how mixed up your emotions are... I can sense someone not sure they know who they are in this world or want to be but clearly want to show that even though they play it tough they have a soft side. Great job.

[THE LOST ROSE]

Your notes really summed up what I was feeling about this poem. I have a few thoughts instead of one complete thought because this poem is mix thoughts. I read it twice before I read your note. Sometime you can take one good poem as this is and I see the potential for about 4 great ones because of the different emotions expressed through out the entire piece.