More Than Love

I thought it was more than teen affection.
She made it more than mental desolation.
Our love was not simple, so I thought.
Then I realized, she has everything I'm not.
She has a personality, a reputation.
I have a heart with filtration.
Simple needs in a girl.
Love, personality. She had a portion.
Little love, too much personality. My abortion.
Someone take me in, love me.
I need to begin, I need to see.
She wasn't my only choice.
I gave her my love, no rejoice.
All of it. Gone.
She was someone I could count on.
Behind me it's not,
it is something that still needs to be forgot.
Forgive her? How could I?
How can I forgive suffering and lies.
I wouldn't do that.
Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie.
I gave you your space,
but all you gave me was disgrace.
Turned against. Let go.
You do not even know.
Sedation of love kept me asleep,
now I have nothing left to keep.
No more love. I don't want it back beautiful.
Keep it. Let it sink in, let the pain fulfill.
Feel what I went through, mental kill.
Sorry if I changed. We all do,
but I still can't believe it was the only reason you
left me. Friends. All I have now.
I can count on them, someone I will allow.
Not someone who will stab me in the back.
You just took one big whack.
The fact that you broke up with me isn't the issue.
Its what you did in the process too.
We had everything planned.
Us two, waiting for the land.
The breakup. We knew this wouldn't last.
The setup. You knew I wasn't fast.
Fast enough to make the decision to end it before you did.
Fast enough to to forgive.
Leave with no sympathy cold heart.
Where to go now? Where to start?