What I Wanted

Had some inspiration, back into writing again

I’m unsure about my future, but I know about my past.
There are constant reminders of my mistakes. Encouragment never lasts.
I’m worried about my well-being. My body suffers every day.
Stress reflects on my attitude, and my personality is withering away.
I want and need help, but I don’t feel like I deserve anything nowadays.
Material things don’t matter at all and my feelings are locked in a safe.
I have friends who talk about me, but they have nothing good to say.
My family is proud of me, but seperation is just another form if dismay.
I’m not okay, so please quit asking. I don’t want help or advice, but someone who listens to what I say.
I look up at the sky and think about being lost in space.
What would it be like to be completely alone? What would they do? What would they say?
Nothing they haven’t said already. I’m a loner at heart but a lover in bed.
I want to be held, but without anything said.
I’ve been put in my place and victimized too much.
People take advantage of someone who’s in love.
I’ve concealed my emotions for years with the same outcome.
People are curious, but don’t know where you’re coming from.
I’ve been in relationships. I’ve gone the extra mile.
I’ve put others before myself and I’ve done it with a smile.
But look at me now. I’m losing everything at once. I’ve made you dinner while I’m eating the crumbs.
My friends are gone. My family is distant. I’ve tasted the drugs, now my body is crippled.
The Lord should’ve taken my life a long time ago. I see myself as an example for others. People see and know, that I am just another.
Don’t be like him, he’s ruined his life.
Don’t talk to him, something isn’t right.
I’m not sure of my next move, but it will probably be the wrong one.
My loneliness is growing, but isn’t that what I want?

Author's Note

Need opinions! Thank you