Drowning

I lost myself.

I want to drown,

To drown in an ocean of faces,

Be like them, do as they do,

Wear their mask that is emotionless.

 

I breathe in life hidden in those waters, adventuring it,

Storing away the secret of my drowned past with master stealth,

Spewing millions of lies with my lips,

Until I start to believe in my own lies myself.

 

There, I swam the sea of illusion,

With a life that is oh, so bland,

As I stare at the stranger in the mirror,

And begin to question who I am.

 

But then, that’s when the tsunamis return to take me back,

Backwards, my memory begins to bend,

The first river escapes my hollow eyes as the current pulls me away,

And the tears of my past stain my cheeks again.

Reviews

[Dr. Wood ?]

this is simply great...I often swim back to the seas of my past...but I try not to stay long enough to get wet

[pumpkin head]

Such a powerful write and well expressed

[Lost in Wonderland]

such a powerful peice, containing the pressures to conform to what society wants, and the memories of when we were who we wanted to be. The confusion, the desperation, the confliction and the hidden brokeness are all elements to this wonderful poem. Great work!

[demureminds]

Wow, intriguing write! I love the metaphors used in this and I can relate so much.

[caesarkreshen]

The fact that this was end-rhymed didn't really pop to me (but I am pretty tired, no sleep) until bland/am.

I think you have a good command of language. You can probably keep winding it tighter.

[Admiral Kirk]

I love the powerful words and metaphors used in this piece. This definitely conveys a feeling of confusion and mixed emotions toward yourself and society as a whole. I often feel like this, and this poem is easy to relate to. Well-written, great read, well worth anyone's time to read and review.

And by the way, I love the hat.

[BatFan38]

very interesting. I agree with the XYZ Writer

[The XYZ Writer]

I love the use of your metaphors, it's a nice and creative way to express what you feel. The only thing I question is, the person who is speaking wants to feel emotionless, but then in the second stanza you say "breathe in life.." Do you use the word "life" as in literal life, or life as in light and spirit? Because to me, somehow the use of that word off-puts the meaning of that stanza....

Sorry, I may just be overanalyzing. But this poem stands true for many of, and I applaud you on such an interesting write. :)

[Jeremy Lester]

My take on the second stanza is that the person is taking in the life of the populace. Their culture and behavior. In the third stanza, he/she swam in the sea of illusion with a life oh so bland- so, he/she has given up on being themselves, possibly just to fit in with majority of society. To end the strife of not fitting in.

[Tai Ryens]

To clear things up, I originally intended it to be an oxymoron and/or a metaphor, depending on how you read it. I breathe in life, as in I breath in air while drowning in water. Or the other way: I breath in life, as in a new life and start among the faces I have drowned myself in.

[Pax]

wow, i really like the use of imagery here. a well done work. its like wearing a mask of illusion, a charade for everyone. great work

[Wondering Mind]

Very powerful write with brilliant imagery...One could feel the thoughts and emotions..