Drowning

I lost myself.

I want to drown,

To drown in an ocean of faces,

Be like them, do as they do,

Wear their mask that is emotionless.

 

I breathe in life hidden in those waters, adventuring it,

Storing away the secret of my drowned past with master stealth,

Spewing millions of lies with my lips,

Until I start to believe in my own lies myself.

 

There, I swam the sea of illusion,

With a life that is oh, so bland,

As I stare at the stranger in the mirror,

And begin to question who I am.

 

But then, that’s when the tsunamis return to take me back,

Backwards, my memory begins to bend,

The first river escapes my hollow eyes as the current pulls me away,

And the tears of my past stain my cheeks again.

Reviews

[MOON]

Beautiful flowing write poignant, love the lines The first river escapes my hollow eyes as the current pulls me away,
And the tears of my past stain my cheeks again.

[Gazza]

Good rhythm, nice how you have used water to drive the progression of the piece. Brilliant use of resources.

[Anthem]

I love the way it runs in a cycle. Water is an excellent device for this. It is so easy to get swept up with the current of our delusions:)

[A. V. Madison]

The first stanza is stellar! I loved it! And it keeps getting better and better as it goes on! Superb writing, Ryan. Emotional and beautiful.

LFC,
Maddie

[Forever Hidden]

Well written, beautiful, and I loved it! I read it so quickly I had to read it again. =)

[Dean Kuch®]

A very emotional and powerful piece of poetry.
I must admit, I was intrigued by the cover picture associated with this, so I started reading. (Yes, some of us DO, IN FACT pay heed to those tiny thumbnails ). I was definately not disappointed in having done so! Often, I too harken back to those muddy and murky painful memories of my yesterdays sometimes. Only now, I avoid stepping in the puddles...
Excellent writing...

[Tai Ryens]

Good to know that I'm not the only one who gets attracted by the thumbnails (names of the writes as well), heh. Thanks for the review.

[Baby Ricochet]

Beautiful. Loved it.

[Thomas Reilly Thornhill]

This is really good :) I like the emotion it carries and the picture it paints :) Keep it up

[Mz]

"As I stare at the stranger in the mirror,
And begin to question who I am." - I love this!

Too often do I feel the same. Wanting to put on an emotionless mask and hide everything behind it for no-one to see. But no truer words - eventually the mask will fall and everything you hid behind it will spill to the forefront yet again.

[ewest1220]

Wow! Very powerful and well done. I can see why your reviews of my work are so insightful I love the emotional picture that is drawn from this poem. Good work.